u/Helpful-Plankton751

Both partner and I work full time jobs. Together we make a decent living.

He works outside of the home, I've worked at home since coming back from maternity leave with my first baby (2021).

I worked at home with my first until 6 months pregnant with my twins (right before she turned 3). She then started part time daycare, and after I delivered, she moved to full time.

I worked at home with my twins until they were almost 19 months old. Doing so, I almost lost my mind, and I definitely lost myself. At 18 months I took matters into my own hands, filed for state childcare assistance so we could afford daycare for 2 additional children (which we were granted because we are not married, so they based it solely off my income). I put them in daycare and life has been much better since for me. They've been in daycare for 6 months and I'm losing weight, taking better care of myself, and can actually focus on my work without 2 kids at my feet.

My partner continues to bring up having another baby. I would love another baby, but told him I couldn't do it if he expected me to work from home with the baby and I told him I couldn't stomach putting a newborn in childcare while I am 15 minutes down the road at home. Surprise surprise, he expects me to work from home with a new baby with absolutely nothing changing.

I explained that I can't continue to do it all with another baby without cutting back on my work - on top of working a full time job... I manage the house, our bills, our pets, all appts for children, the kids are at home with me anytime they are sick, and I work through lunch so I can do not only the morning drop offs before I clock in for work, but also the afternoon pickups after he gets off work. The mental load is insane. He does help at night - does the dishes, half of the cooking during the week, and bathes the twins. He is good with them on the weekend too, but the thing is on the weekend, I get no time with them because I am normally catching up on house chores while he spends time with them. Idk how I'm supposed to continue to manage this with another baby in the mix.

I have approached him more than once about cutting my hours or quitting my job to have more children, but he is against it. He says we will go broke (we won't). Would we have to cut back on spending, yes, but we would manage with thousands left over each month for spending and saving just on his salary. I've tried approaching living off his income and saving my salary for a year so we would have an even bigger cushion than we already have, he's against it.

After realizing he's totally against me completely quitting my job to have more children, I asked if we could hire help to make things more manageable for me (with or without a new baby involved). Maybe someone to pick up the kids so I actually get a lunch, or even hiring a weekly cleaner so I don't have to work all weekend catching up. He's against both - doesn't want strangers driving his kids and doesnt want strangers in his house to clean.

I am at a loss on what to do. I feel like a slave in my job, in my home and in my role as a mother. I feel like he only sees me for the children I can provide him and for the work I do as a homemaker. Which really bothers me because I love both my job and adore being a mother. I feel like my wfh job is being abused by him because I've shown in the past that I can handle taking care of children while working full time. The obvious answer is to not have another baby, but I truly want more children. A big family is something we've always agreed on, but I just can't do it again and continue to manage everything else on my plate.

Idk what I'm wanting out of this post. I think I'm just needing to vent that I feel stuck and nothing in my life is going to way I want it, even though everything and anything I want and we've talked about for years is totally attainable.

Hi al, I recently signed up for an ulta mastercard. I got my first statement 8 days ago, but my points have not hit my account.

I do not see them on the pending points on the ulta app, nor do I see pending points on my statement anywhere.

I did use the temp card in store immediately after approval and those points hit my account immediately, but all other outside purchases still haven't hit.

How long does it take? Is there a place I can check to find pending points on MC purchases made outside of ulta?

Our twin boys just turned 2 yesterday.

Last week we had to transition to toddler beds. Boy B was literally supermaning off the side of the rails and we were obviously worried he was going to seriously injure himself.

Before these beds, they were great sleepers. Have been sleeping through the night since they were 4 months old because we sleep trained and keep a routine. You could tell them it's time for bed, tuck them in, and they were out.

The first week with the toddler beds was not a breeze, but it was manageable. It was 15-30 minutes of walking them back to bed and telling them goodnight until they finally crashed.

2 days ago everything changed and I am not sure why, because nothing has changed routine wise. Last night was awful, tonight was hell. They were swinging over the bed rails like monkeys trained in high intense parcore, crawling UNDER their bedroom rugs, scaling the shelves and curtains, all while giggling for over an hour while we tried our hardest to keep our sanity in check. I eventually pulled everything out... toys, books, rugs, their blankets, pillows, stuffies. Alllll of it, and said calmly "here, have at it" and closed the door. Not my finest moment... they stayed awake for another 45 minutes talking and walking around looking for things to do and eventually ended up at the door crying. We went back in, gave them their bed stuff back, and they did lay down and stay in bed. Took them another 30 minutes to actually fall asleep though.

Please tell me this is just a bad couple of nights? That this isn't the start of something way worse and this is how our lives are going to be for the foreseable future? How did you transition from cribs to toddler beds with very strong willed toddlers who feed off of each others feral-ness?

I got pregnant with my daughter (5yo) during a tinder fling. Me and her father tried to make it work, but he turned into an awful human being. Narcissist, drug addict, mentally and physically abusive. A total psychopath. I left him when she was 6 weeks old. I worked for a while with him/his parents to try and get him help, but when the abuse did not stop I went no contact. Stupid to let it go on so long, I know. My only excuse is I was very niave and scared at the time. Once I finally got the guts to go no contact, I told him/his parents that if he wanted a relationship with his child he would have to get his shit together and take custody to court. Surprise surprise, he never did.

I have stupidly let custody sit 1. Because I don't even know where bio dad is at this point and 2. A part of me is afraid to confront him about signing over rights for adoption even if he could be found.

Fast forward 5 years, I am now with a wonderful man who my daughter calls dad. He is the only father figure she has ever known. She does not remember her biological dad.

My daughter starts kindergarten this fall. Her preschool is teaching her all the things to prepare her, one of them being writing and spelling her last name.

When I picked up front preschool the other day, she asked why her last name was different than ours. I did not know how to respond, so I just said sometimes people have different last names and left it at that.

Although she is only 5yo, she is extremely smart and emotionally intelligent. I am worried she is eventually going to figure out that the man who is viewed as her dad is not her father before we have the chance to tell her.

How and when do I tell her? I don't want to keep it from her, but I do not think she will understand, and honestly don't know how to explain, the biological aspect of it to a 5yo without destroying her innocence. I have heard horror stories about parents keeping things like this from their children for too long or never telling them, and then the child finding out during adulthood and it ruining their lives. I do not want that to happen, and realize the time to tell her is coming sooner rather than later.

I have 3 small children - 2yo twins and a 5yo, aka our life is choas and we are in the thick of it, and we are BUSY 24/7. I was speaking with my mom last night and she seemed frustrated that I was not including her in our weekend.

My in laws will have all 3 of our children from Friday night until Saturday after dinner. During the 24hrs we have kid free, we plan on completely redoing my oldest daughter's room for her birthday that is coming up in a few days.

My mom asked if she could spend the night on Saturday after we picked the kids up from the in laws so she could see the kids, the new room and spend Mother's Day morning with me. I told her after cleaning/painting/putting together furniture all day, I was not going to feel like hosting that night (my mother can be a pita about being over - even if we/kids have already eaten she expects me to cook her dinner or provide a meal), and that my only wish for Mother's Day is uninterrupted sleep so I planned on sleeping in (she knows this, I have asked for it every year since having children).

She got kind of pissy with me when I told her no, them sounded like she was going to cry when I stood my ground. I was not mean, but firm on my boundary. I truly just want a relaxing day with my family and do not feel like cooking her dinner and breakfast for mother's day, or trying to keep her happy while she is at my house. We have a strained past and she is extremely judgemental at times (for example - she pointed out that my baseboards were dirty when I was 8 months pregnant with twins and asked why I didn't have time to clean them if I work from home).

Am I selfish for not including her? I was speaking with my husband last night and he said that Mother's Day is reserved for the women who are actively parenting first, and this is how I feel too. Is this how you view the day?