I got cheated on and I'm not sure how I can properly heal. We dated for almost a year and towards the last month, things got really rocky, we started to argue every little thing and we broke up. During the last month of our relationship there were a lot of red flags I started to notice. She would always mention a friend of hers and even brought him up in an argument. Then after one argument she went out and was coincidentally spotted out with him, and only confessed that to me after a mutual saw them together. She started getting really defensive about her phone and wouldn’t let me look at it, claiming I was childish. I would joke sometimes about seeing her with another guy and she would get really angry and defensive about that too. And the only reason I joked about this is because she would joke the same with me saying that she saw me with girls (was she projecting?). After we finally broke up a lot of things came out about what she did and how she cheated. And how there was also another person she was seeing throughout the relationship.
I don’t understand how she could lie to my face and even swear on her mom that her and her friend had nothing going on. Or how she was also seeing a different guy even while our relationship was seemingly good. She talked a lot about how she didn’t condone cheating but she lied straight to my face and cheated anyways. I wonder how much of our relationship was a lie and how long she has been cheating on me. Like what was the purpose of stringing me along?
I trusted this person a lot and I just can’t believe they betrayed me. I never questioned them before and the fact that I had their location throughout all this is so crazy. I just can’t believe that all the red flags were there and I never noticed it. This really hurts me and ruins my perception of trust. I want to make sure I don’t bring along this trauma towards my next relationship and I want to be able to trust again.