i feel completely worthless
yesterday i hit a very important milestone, i’ve been completely clean for six months. the funny part is literally no one cared or remembered (except like three people), not even my family THAT LITERALLY LOCKED ME UP IN REHAB remembered the date and how important it is for me bc going sober has been one of the worst things i’ve gone through. i lost a shit ton of friends, so many spaces i use to go to, so much and now people don’t even care??? like yeah sobriety has helped me in so many ways but it also has torn me down, somehow since rehab everything got so much worse i feel like i genuinely can’t connect with people at all so im just alone all the time. its just so bad and there’s no escape bc i mean literally nothing to the people in my life and i just don’t care about anything anymore.
i just keep becoming colder and meaner and i just didn’t use to be like this, my narcissistic traits have been there all my life but it’s like they’re taking over dramatically and i didn’t think it would ever be this bad. i have no reason to be around anymore but everything takes so much effort id rather stay in my bed and cry all day bc i can’t seem to act on my thoughts. also im completely aware of the fact that i sound insanely stupid rn.