I'm a woman, 24 years old. My boyfriend is also 24. We're from Brazil.
I found screenshots of my boyfriend talking to a trans girl on social media. She was openly flirting and making sexual comments, asking to meet up and give him oral sex. I can't post the screenshots, but I'll try my best to translate the conversation for you.
October
Girl: where are you? I was really in the mood to give oral.
Boyfriend: "viixi" (brazilian expression to say something like "damn, wow")
Girl: I miss choking on your dick
Boyfriend: 🤪🤪
Then she explained where she was, and kept going:
Girl: isn’t there somewhere near where you live where I could suck you off?
Boyfriend: I'm in (another city).
Girl: oh, okay
Boyfriend: 🫡🫡
He wasn't in another city. He just didn't cut her off.
January
Girl: what's up?
Boyfriend: what's up?
Girl: what are you doing now?
Boyfriend: nothing. Why?
Girl: I'm downtown, just chilling. In the mood to suck your dick.
Boyfriend: I'm in (another city)
Girl: oh, okay
Boyfriend: 🙂🙂
Girl: let me know when you come here
Again, he wasn't in another city. In fact, I was at his house, living with him for a few days when this conversation happened.
What hurts me the most is knowing that he never mentioned he had a girlfriend, he never blocked this person, and he never told me what was going on. He never truly cut her off.
I keep asking him why he did this, what his motivations were, and why he thought I deserved this, but he never gives me real answers. He just says he doesn’t know why he did it.
And honestly, we all know why he did it. He did it because he wanted to. Maybe he had a guilty conscience and didn’t actually go through with it physically, but he wanted to.
So my question to you guys is: would you consider this cheating? Is this forgivable? What do you honestly think about this situation?
P.S. I only mentioned that she is trans because it’s relevant to the story, not because I have any issue with trans women.
I asked him five different times if they had ever hooked up or had any kind of history, and he lied to me every single time. I had to message his friend to confirm that yes, they actually had been involved before. Only then did he finally admit it.
When I asked him why he lied to me those five times, he said it was because he was ashamed that she was a trans girl.