Hey, I just turned 30 a few months ago so I’ve been thinking a lot about getting married sometime soon. The only problem is that I’m “behind.”
In my early 20s, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that really set me back several steps. I lost my car, my apartment, my job, quit college, and lost “my freedom,” because I was too sick to essentially do anything. By the grace of God, I’ve come a long way, and I have basically made a full recovery. Of course there’s still some medical PTSD residue leftover, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it was a few years ago.
Basically, I feel like in a sense “I’m broken,” and I’ll never be fully “fixed,” because of the medical trauma I’ve gone through. Something I’ve had to painfully accept recently, is that Christian women usually don’t want “broken men.” Also being behind doesn’t help either.
I was able to finish college and obtain a decent job late last year. I bought a new car, and started hitting the gym. Afterwards, I figured I’d give dating another shot. Went about two dates with a woman I met on upward, but she called it off because I still live with my parents, and she didn’t feel comfortable dating someone who had a chronic illness.
Don’t get me wrong, she is obligated to date whoever she wants, but I cannot deny… that was pretty painful. I feel like that woman behaved like how the majority of Christian women are going to behave towards me.
Now I’m in between jobs, so I’m still not fully independent. I have heard people tell me (my mother) that I shouldn’t even think about dating until I’m fully established.
Not including the chronic illness stuff, I guess my biggest concern is why must I be fully established anyway? Perhaps it sounds like a dumb question, but is it really? I’m really trying to succeed out here. Is it wrong for “a broken man,” like me to desire a wife? I’ve got friends (some non-Christian) who date women when they have nothing, but as a Christian man I feel like I must have “everything,” or I’m “pathetic.”