I don’t wanna lose my mom.
She’s been in hospice for 3 months now, she use to be able to walk, eat, and take her medications. Three weeks ago, although she still walked and moved her legs started getting swollen and retaining water, for a week now she’s been on pretty much bed rest, because she can’t move it anymore without it hurting, she only stands up for the restroom and barley wants to eat.
She can still talk and have some conversations but now she falls asleep mid conversation. She’s starting to confuse conversations she has with people. Her breathing is getting heavy. She’s so skinny but her stomach is so big.
I’m losing her, I know so many people lose their moms at a younger age, I should be lucky I have had 34 years with her, but it doesn’t seem like enough. I’m afraid to find her dead one day when I check in on her in the mornings. I’m afraid of life without her. She’s always been my comfort person. I don’t know the point of this post.
She’s not even dead yet but I miss her so much already.