u/Hempetusus87

I have been with him for 7 years... we have a 4yo daughter and this is the first time I realized he is an alcoholic...

He got drunk this sunday...he throwed up all over my clohtes and our daughter´s clothes and the walls....

I woke up and and at the begining I didn´t internalized what was the reach of that...

But then as the day went by I started remembering that:

1. He drinks every day a beer or a six pack or a cuople of shots "to be able to sleep"

2. We have had this on going discussion like in cycles that he needs to stop drinking cause it has gotten a little to far, and he aplogies and says that we are everything to him blah blah blah...

3. Then there are periods where he stops drinking and then he starts drinking daily, not much not to the point that he looks drunk, but he drinks daily and then he increases little by little his alcohol intake....

And now I've realized that´s what an alcoholic is....

How the F$%$k I ended up with an ancoholic!!! And now we have a 4yo and I dont want her to think this is normal and I dont want me either to think that I deserve this... I have worked so hard to heal from many things in my life and take care of me and some how I still managed to have an alcoholic husband...... and worse it just hit me like I was so dumb by everything else that I never really aknowledged that...

I am sad, I am mad, I am still finding vomit on my clothes and my daughter's clothes and that just enfuriates me more....

We had a discussion (again) where he drinks a drop of alcohol and I'll just take my daughter and I'll leave him... But IDK even if he makes it .... IDK if I want to hold to him....