Im just not ok
Ive been getting more depressed. My ex left and was more of my life and source of confidence and support than I realized and I dont see a positive future for myself. I lost a lot of friends from over working, difference of interests, and having to cut out people who weren't good for me. I got diagnosed myocarditis so I haven't been feeling great physically and gained weight. Work is getting more critical as well and im getting more discouraged and more depressed. I never felt deeply genuinely depressed until something in me just shifted and I feel hopeless. I tried to get out of it by changing a lot and doing a lot of self destructive things but it faded away and got even worse. Ive been like this for almost 4 years now. I dont know how to rebuild my life and I feel like im too old now.