Hi all,
I got with my ex in April 2024. We were friends first having known each other for 2 and a half years.
We moved in with each other quickly in August 2024 and by the end of September, I was asking if he was ok. He wasn't initiating and was rejecting me at times - he put this down to work and not feeling fit enough for rugby. I bought this up as 'are you ok'.
The first rejection which got to me was in November. I asked what he turn ons were, what made him feel good etc and he couldn't answer any of those. He just shut down.
By December he was saying he was going to quit his job and he did that last March.
After he quit his job he started becoming less considerate of me - he went away and didn't return the day he said he would. He hadn't said he would be returning a different day. He didn't turn up to a beer festival we were attending with other couples. He didn't bring my trainers for a walk we met to do after work (I'd called especially for that.
As we'd talked about buying a house I was concerned with him having no plans of looking for another job. He said about buying a campervan so I'd got permission to have a few months off to go with him. We viewed vans but he never committed to getting one. With no travel plans and no house plans, I felt trapped. I was early thirties and wanted to aim for something. Any conversation led to him shutting down. I felt isolated and alone.
One weekend last July I got upset and stayed at my parents. I asked to meet up with him to talk about things. He had nothing to say. We ended.
He moved back to his parents- two hours away and wasn't helpful whilst I sorted our flat out.
Since easter I'd thought of him loads and my brain was blocking out the reasons it ended. I ended up messaging him ten days ago and last weekend spent an hour on the phone with him whilst at a hen. He wants to meet up.
I loved living with him, loved our shared hobbies, loved hearing him talk about his interests. He was my peace.
With an ex I'd say no contact is best. I'm not sure if it is because he was a friend first, I am suddenly hating him being out of my life forever.