i'm 17M, and 16F gf says hurtful things when she's upset
i'm 17M and my girlfriend's 16F, and we've been in together for 2 years. she's my first partner, and she means the world to me. as you can imagine, we got into this relationship really young at a time we're both still figuring things out which is bound to lead to some roadblocks. it's par for the course. we bonded initially over the struggles we've both been through, and she's usually really loving, kind, supportive, but recently been really mad at me over really small things
i'd say most of the times she feels upset with me, woth me and says tells me things that i get upset over. it's been over small things or stuff that (at least for me) most people don't really care about like losing while we're playing a game or getting a minor detail wrong about something. usually, she gets upset, says things that make me feel hurt, and i get upset and sad. i should also note that i really try to suppress anger and it usually gets converted into sadness. i don't like lashing and i really try not to spiral, but it does sometimes get to me. but through it, we make up. we talk it out, apologise, and move on
we've talked about it before and she admits she has a hard time venting out her feelings without resorting to lashing out at someone, even if she is aware of how she feels and doesn't know what kind of outlet would work for her. and she's told me that because she very often has no one else to go to, she pits it at me instead, even if it's usually not my fault. it's that sometimes i'm unintentionally the last straw and it just makes her redirect all her feelings from other things at me
i really do love her, and i'd do anything for her. but right now, i think she also needs to know what she can do too so that this doesn't have to consume us. some of the things she says really have hurt me, but i really want to work with her to make this relationship better. we've been through a lot and i want us to get past it
any thoughts?