My ex and I dated for 2 years, after a year I moved and we were long distance. He was my best friend, soulmate and all the things they talk about in movies and some more. We fit perfectly and he was the most kind, respectful, funny, generous guy I know. He had his fair share of complaints about me which he used to subtly bring - like my insecurity when he even casually checks someone out, which then will lead to fights, me being clingy and emotionally dependent on him. But for the most part, it was an awesome relationship and I really looked up to him. LDR was a breeze until after a year, I realised marrying at that time means quitting on my dreams and going back and I didn't want to do that. I started resenting him, which led to having a thing with another guy, breaking my bf's trust and ultimately - a full break up.
The pain was so intense, I had to get hospitalised, dragged myself through work, tried rebounds, still crying, spent the second year working on myself and then moving back with my parents'. It's been three years since our breakup. My ex and I still talk to each other occasionally - we both tried dating other people (didn't work out), we still laugh with each other in ways we can't with others and I still can't shake up the feeling of love and overwhelming grief and guilt of messing something really good. I was 24 when we broke up and I am 27 now. He has since consistently maintained that he can't start a new relationship in long distance. He is willing to give it another go if we are both in the same place and said I need to rebuild his trust. I am still not able to shake off this feeling of guilt, knowing fully well I betrayed him before and he still doesn't know the full details of the mistakes from before and knowing that after three years, he is still the one I love wholeheartedly and am willing to make it work whatever it takes.