When did you decide to become SMBC?

36F, single AF, not sure where the time went, don't want to go into something just cause, might have to SMBC.

At what point did you give up and decide this is the route?

I also feel a lot of pressure to have kids, a cultural thing, but also I want them as well. I've always been really good with children. I just don't know if I have it me to do this route, mainly courage, etc. Like one day I'll look back and regret not being able to meet anybody else. Financially, I'm okay doing this alone. Also, going into freezing my eggs in the next few months. Fingers crossed still fertile enough for harvest.

Anyway, just a rant and seeking some solace. Tell me how you decided to go SMBC, pleeeese.

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u/Historical-Pound-314 — 3 days ago
▲ 73 r/chinaexplorer+1 crossposts

Travel Tips after many China adventures.

Just thought I put it out there to help others.

  1. Payments. Set up Wechat & Alipay. Link different bank cards. Turn off VPN when paying. Didi and many other apps are built into wechat and alipay. Cashless and cardless, mobile pay for everything. I still have around 300 RMB in cash from several trips ago for emergencies.2. VPN. I route mine back to my home server, works great.

  2. esim, get a esim on trip.com, you can use whatsapp etc on your esim. I'd still recommend getting a local sim depending how autonomous you need to be on your travels. Chinese apps want a Chinese phone number for verification, and transactions get flagged sometimes with a foreign number, often annoying. You can get a physical sim during working hours at the most major airports, data packages they sell are 20-30 rmb more expensive than local telecom shop prices, but worth it if you need data to find the hotel or journey right after landing.

  3. Nav. Amap. Baidu. and apple maps surprisingly works too. Google maps is pretty limited, especially for public transportation info

  4. Booking itinerary. Trip.com for everything. I've tried taobao feizhu a few times for slightly cheaper prices, the trip.com interface is more foreigner friendly. flight, trains, hotels, attractions, etc. High-speed rail and subway. You go through security, find your platform, and get on the train. At certain station or hours, expect total chaos.

  5. Shared bikes. Scan and ride, my favorite way to travel around in China. For the most part, Blue bikes = Alipay, green bikes = WeChat, yellow bikes = Meituan. varies by city, but those are usually the main ones. Some towns have red/orange from mulnicipalities, usually wechat mini app and local sim will get you covered.

  6. Meituan, Dianping & RedNote for more adventures

  7. Carry passport everywhere. For trains, attractions, your passport is literally your ticket.

  8. Don't expect English anywhere. For the most part,

  9. AI: Get doubao or deepseek before you go. Chinese version of Chatgpt. Speak into it in English and it will give you what you need. Translate, explain things, etc. Doubao interface is more foreigners friendly, made by bytedance, very helpful.

11.Toilets. The worst part of the experience. Carry tissues everywhere and even wet wipes. Airports or big malls are probably okay, aka clean, but don't expect paper to be provided. If you go on even a little adventure, expect squat toilets without anything. Bring your own toilet paper and wet wipes. That's all I'm saying.

Overall, once you get your phone set up, travelling around China is honestly a lot easier than people expect. It's like everywhere else, there's good and bad, things you like and don't like. It's under a totally different system, so keep a open mind. Hope this helps. Happy China Travelling!

u/Historical-Pound-314 — 27 days ago

36F wants children, should I have them by myself?

After 20 years of dating, I haven't met anyone to build a life with yet. I really want children and at this point probably more than I want someone to share a life with. There's one guy who is a nice guy but totally broke, also we live in different countries. I want to have children, should I just go the donor route and have them by myself. Or is it totally a bad idea to have with a broke guy. Like in a different universe, we could build a life?

Financially, I'm very comfortable. My parents would probably help out a bit here and there and I would hire help if needed here and there. The concern I guess is more about future child care/ career opportunity cost and other things. Without a partner still sounds a bit daunting to me, like no one to consult on decisions.

Honestly, these are the things that keep me up at night. My friends kids are mostly almost teenagers and I'm just getting started. Where did the time go? Should I just start creating my own little family.

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u/Historical-Pound-314 — 1 month ago