July 2025 I had my AMH done and it was 15.7pmol/L on CD29. I had 3 unsuccessful IUIs and am now moving to IVF (July 2026), therefore had a repeat AMH done and it was 6.9pmol/L on CD16. For reference I am 28 years old, healthy and no known fertility issues (only doing IUI/IVF due to choosing SMBC route).
Anyone else have their AMH drop significantly in 12 months? Did they do any further tests? Or why else would this happen?
Hi! I'm a 34 year old woman that's decided to have a baby alone (I guess that's obvious here), and while I made that decision around 2 years ago I've only recently been looking into the 'how'. I'm not going through a clinic, but I have a donor and am planning on trying during my August cycle.
Is there anything that I should know about the whole journey, including raising a child solo? (I've helped my sister's with all their babies, including living in-home with two of them to support, so I'm not new to babies just with the experience of doing it all solo)
What would you have wanted to know at the start?
I don’t get bothered by questions about the donor or sperm banks, or about the Netflix documentary, or if I’m worried about how my kids will feel etc. I almost want difficult questions so I can be better prepared for my kids.
But… and I feel like this is more of a feminism thing, why is it a question what her last name is? Of course SMBC are not a monolith and make different choices and there isn’t a wrong one, but to me it’s like asking what utensil I’m going to eat my spaghetti with and not expecting the answer to be, a fork.
Even my own father asked me and when I told him he said , “oh I didn’t know you could do that.”TF?!? I’ve had 2 people say they assumed she’d get the donor’s last name or that all the donor kids from the same donor get some assigned name.
Also a lot of full grown adults (usually men) with children of their own don’t know you can give your kid whatever last name you want.
Today I went to my ex’s parents house. We have a child together so we do holidays together. I never changed my name to his when we were married and everyone knew that. We gave our kid his last name because I lost the hand of poker. He cared more than I did anyway so it’s truly fine. My ex’s family are genuinely great and have been super supportive.
My ex FIL said about my DC daughter liked a particular dish “like a true [their last name].” I didn’t know if he was just calling her a member of the family or what so I didn’t say anything but my ex said, “dad, you do remember she’s not mine right? She’s not a [their last name], she’s a [my last name].” Both my FIL and MIL were surprised and said, “what? Why? We wouldn’t have said no!” Like they were sad for my daughter. My ex BIL’s reaction was like he was learning something new and asked if I’m allowed to pick whatever I wanted. As if being required to use my ex husband’s name sounded more logical. My ex SIL asked if I had considered giving my kids the same last name. That I think is a fair question but anyway.
My theory is it’s engrained that the family uses the last name of the head of the family and it doesn’t occur to them that I’m the head of my family, or worse that we’re a real family? I’m not spiraling about this but just wanted to vent.
So I have a background that's fairly uncommon in the US where I live. If I were to only look at donors that look closest to me and are available in the cryobanks I'm looking at I'd probably land on a Hispanic donor or possibly Indian. But there are also donors I really like that are of completely different races and don't look like me, including mixed race donors.
The issue is I've read all this stuff about how it's terrible to choose a donor that's a different race because then the child grows up disconnected from their heritage and/or the parent is ill equiped to help with issues that impact that race. Obviously I don't want my choice to negatively impact the kid!
On the other hand, if I choose the most genetically similar to me that's available, they wouldn't really look like me because my particular heritage is a mix of two populations that don't really mix often, especially in the US where the one that I look more like is not common.
I don't really want to disclose my background, just wondering if anyone has any advice when it comes to this?
Would you just pick someone that looks like you?
Or am I overthinking and should go with the donor I like most?
Or just match my heritage as closely as I can?
I’m 28 and 5dp6dt of a 4CC embryo and absolutely desperate to test. It feels so unfair to know that the result is already locked in, but I don’t get to know it for another 5 days. I thought the wait to find out whether any embryos made it to blasts was bad but this is something else🤣 can’t stop reading other people’s stories of positives or negatives and comparing my symptoms etc.
I think this has defo been the hardest part of doing this alone so far😭
Honestly this is pure torture
I just moved out here for more family support. I have an almost four month old and would love to chat.
For context, I’m a lesbian teenager. I’m not very optimistic about what my dating life will be like later on, and I don’t want to let my future be dependent on a hypothetical partner. I’m planning on having my first kid around 23-25 no matter what happens. The end goal is to have 4 girls all spaced 1-2 years apart between each other.
My main question is — will IVF work differently depending on how old you are? I’ve seen lots of sad stories of failed transfers and all of that, and how those things failing pushed back the timeline by months / years. But all those stories were people ages 35 and older. Will this be a concern for someone younger? I know that anything can happen, but I need to know if / how I can prepare for this. Thank you all!
EDIT: Thank you everyone for all your advice. I’ll be keeping all that in mind :) Have a good week!!
Anyone have any experience with sperm banks in the SF Bay Area? I started looking into it but I’m a bit overwhelmed. Any recommendations/advice would be appreciated!
I was induced last Saturday at 39 weeks, and I was so scared. I’m not gonna lie everything went bad. A week later I’m still at hospital. My induction lasted 4 days and never worked, i suffered for 3 days and ended up in a C section.
I’m now 4 days postpartum, and still not ready to go home. I got high blood pressure, I was supposed to go out today and this morning my blood pressure is not good, so I’m stucked here for I don’t know how long.
I feel like it’s never going to end, I just want to go back home with my baby, but it seems like impossible.
I don’t really need explanation or solution, maybe just support.
I had my egg collection yesterday, they collected 6. Which is much better than the 4 they could see on the scans. The clinic called me this morning and all 6 of them have fertilised!!
Im so happy, I wasn't expecting all of them to fertilised. Now I just need to wait until my transfer in a few days.
Just purchased my donor sperm and was telling her about it a few days ago. I am scheduling my first iui and I get this TEXT from my sister in law. Just more motivation to do this thing and soon!
So - it’s been a long IUI journey already with multiple rounds that weren’t able to go ahead because of ovulating too quickly and missing the window or last month having 7 check ups in a week and a half and ultimately dr deciding to not go ahead because it was all happening too slowly, the joys of PCOS/PMOS symptoms popping up again suddenly after years of managing it fine with regular periods…
Anyway I’m now in the throes of my 5th attempt and they had me take Letrozole to make sure my cycle this time wouldn’t drag on endlessly. It’s worked a treat and I’m getting inseminated on Sunday after booster shot tonight, buttttt bc of the letrozole I had 2 follicles ready to go instead of one. I feel like Goldilocks haha, not enough - too many…
On the one hand it feels extra promising cuz it’s giving me a greater chance to conceive I think, but on the other hand the doctors were very firm on the increased risk of twins and telling me many SMBCs in these instances choose to get one of the follicles punctured in a procedure v similar to IVF egg retrieval.
I literally sat in the waiting room of the hospital for an hour this morning spiralling and trying to decide if I was gonna have the puncture or not, it’s such a mindfuck! I looove the idea of twins theoretically but my god I would positively disintegrate if it actually happened…
I ended up not getting the puncture done because it feels crazy to reduce my chances after 4 failed attempts already and the struggle so far, my friends were all happy when I updated them bc even if the risk of twins is increased it’s still very low really, so they feel this was the better choice.
Anyway - I’m just wondering if anyone else has been in this position?? It must happen quite regularly for people doing a medicated round, no?
Context - this is in Belgium and I do think they’re quite strict on these things here, my hospital would also never place more than 1 embryo during IVF which I’ve deffo seen other hospitals do. They said if it was more than 2 developed follicles they would have skipped this round.
First transfer coming up in a couple of months (I'm 36) and trying to wrap my head around the big picture. Anyone else torn between 1 vs. 2 kids?
The Stats:
6 PGT-A tested embryos (3 girls, 3 boys)
The Case for One & Done:
Finances/Lifestyle: We can fully fund college and travel frequently.
Health: I don't want to be pregnant in my 40s. Pregnancy is medically tough in my family (mom and sister faced severe blood pressure and heart issues), and I want to protect my health.
The Case for Two:
Family Dynamic: We have a very small family, and there won’t be any cousins around their age. I worry about them being lonely. (Though two kids means limited travel and splitting college funds).
How did you decide when to stop, especially when balancing health risks and future lifestyle? Would love to hear your experiences!
Hi all! I’ve been a long time lurker of this sub and now I’m finally starting my first IUI attempt tomorrow. I’m doing a medicated and monitored round because I wanted to start aggressive right off the bat (I only managed to get 3 vials of my preferred donor and don’t want to waste any vials).
I’m just thrown off by the timing of the trigger shot. I’ve been faithfully going along with what my medical team is telling me to do and I was told to trigger tonight between 5 and 10 pm. Procedure to happen tomorrow at 11:45.
However, tonight I decided to start googling randomly and found that the trigger shot is usually taken 24-36 hours before an IUI. Now I’m anxious and ruminating about whether the clinic is scheduling my IUI too early.
Are there any moms out there that had a successful IUI round after only waiting 12 hours post trigger shot?
Hey Y'all – first, thank you for existing. I've been lurking on this board for a year now, and I really appreciate this community. That said, I feel like I'm spinning my wheels at this point and I just can't stop.
Background: I (40/F) just finished all my testing, and have my regroup with my doc in 10 days. Then I go sperm shopping, lol. I've had controlled anxiety/depression always, but have been STRUGGLING since coming off Nexplanon 3 months ago. I have a well paying job, and while layoffs are always a possibility, I feel secure that I could find another role in a reasonable amount of time. I have a good nest egg. I have younger, active, willing-to-help parents.
Overall, I am TERRIBLE at making choices, especially irreversible ones. I've done The Baby Decision and I have Motherhood: Is It For Me? but haven't started it yet. Both feel to me like books to find out if you want a baby, not if you want a baby as a single parent.
My core quandary is this: I know that I want a kid. I don't know that I can manage having a kid on my own.
I'm terrified to lose my sense of self, any time for art, and the ability to travel. I'm worried about managing the overwhelm and overstimulation on my own. I know that none of that is a guarantee with a partner, but honestly, doing this on my own feels like intentionally putting a video game on "Hard." And to continue that analogy, I resent that my only options are to play the video game on hard mode, or to not play it at all.
If you had these same fears, how did you even begin to weigh them? If you went through with it all despite these doubts, when did they resolve? If you've experienced both (i.e. you had a partner and intentionally left with full custody) how did it compare? If you made a mistake, how bearable or unbearable is it?
Thank you in advance for any words of wisdom.
Hi all, not sure if this is the most appropriate sub for this. I searched for posts relating to coparenting websites and found a couple of old posts here.
A bit of background - I’m a 33F, just got out of a long-term relationship with another woman. I want a family, she doesn’t (not the main reason we broke up but realistically it was a problem).
I’ve had proper baby fever for a few years now and tried to suppress this because I always told myself that it was my ‘job’ is to not have kids - I come from a long line of intergenerational abuse. So the sudden change in feelings has been very disconcerting and I understand it’s likely hormonal. I finally talked to my ex about this just before we broke up and that seemed to seal the coffin on our relationship tbh.
Now all I want is a baby. I cry every time I see one whenever I’m out and about - I’m crying writing this now. I always told myself it would be so selfish for me to bring a child into this world because I don’t have a family around me who could support me, and I worry that my family line just isn’t equipped to deal with modern life (my mum died by suicide when I was 16, social services were heavily involved in my childhood, my mum’s whole life was extremely messed up and sad, my nan’s hasn’t been much better. I tracked down my dad’s family recently and found that he passed a few years ago and also had a difficult life, as did his mum).
But I never expected to feel as intensely as I do right now. Some days it’s all I can think about. I’ve worked really hard to not repeat the same mistakes my mum/nan did, but honestly I worry that one day I might get so desperate that I do something completely irrational and impulsive.
I’ve looked at co-parenting websites before and agree with posts here about how off-putting they are. I don’t want the father of my baby to be a fetishist. I don’t want a relationship, but I do think it’s important that my child knows who their dad is and has a positive relationship with them. I really, really want to prioritise that. I will be heartbroken and so disappointed in myself if I go out and hook up with a random just because I’m so desperate. Genuinely insane behaviour and not like me at all (I’m asexual if anything).
I hate what this is doing to me, it’s making me look at every man in my life and think “could I have a baby with him? Would he have a baby with me? How could I convince him?” Even the way I started this post was to ask for advice on how I can convince any of the good men I know to co-parent with me but wtf, that’s so manipulative!
Sorry, I don’t really know what the point of this post is. I’m very lonely and isolated right now, and suppose looking to see if this is something anybody else here has struggled with and overcome. Should I just get sterilised so the choice is taken out of my hands completely? Would that make the intensity go away or just make it worse? Sorry for such a confusing, rambling post 😭😭😭
EDIT: sorry all, I should have paid more attention to the ‘by choice’ bit - I really wasn’t trying to offend or cast judgement on people’s choices when I said I’d want my child to ‘know their father’. I think that’s more me vocalising my fears about how both my Nan and mum got pregnant and the long lasting impact this has had. I don’t think my nan’s or my mum’s pregnancies were ‘by choice’ tbh, though they’d probably argue otherwise. I respect that you’ve all put such deliberate thought and planning into raising your child(ren) as this is surely more important than anything!
Hi everyone! ❤️
I’m currently 3 months pregnant as a SMBC, and I’d love to hear from those of you who started this journey single but eventually found a partner.
Did anyone meet their person while pregnant or during the first months after giving birth? What was your experience like?
I’m finding myself a little worried that pregnancy means putting my love life on hold, and I’d really love to hear some hopeful stories from women who began this journey alone but didn’t stay alone.
Thank you so much for sharing. It would really mean a lot to me. 😊
Hey all!
My 23 month old has had HFMD for the past week. She’s been mostly okay though definitely irritable but she’s COVERED in patches and spots and it looks brutal. Arms, legs, diaper area are the worst. The severity and grouping of the rash leads me to think it’s an Atypical HFMD that attacks eczema areas. Seems like nothing new today and all scabbing over so I think she’s in the home stretch.
Anyways, this is our fourth virus this past month, I’ve missed 14 days of work in June and been sick pretty much back to back the whole time. I just found a spot in my throat 😭 I’m like actually devastated.
I wondering how it went for any of you who caught it from your kid? So may stories online about it being hell and the the worst things they’ve ever experienced has me grasping for anyones experiences who weren’t life-altering bad 😬
Hi all,
I'd like to get your advice as I am new to IVF journey.
I am a 34yo woman with DOR. I've signed up for 3 IVF treatment with donor sperm in Denmark.
In the 3 IVF treatment package included:-
I flew to Denmark 2 days after first ultrasound scan in the local clinic in the city I live(I can't use donor sperm as a single woman where I live).
On the day of scan in Denmark, I was told that my 3 follicles are in different sizes(18mm, 16, 14 each) and it makes difficult to make retrieval plan as we wanna collect 2 or 3 of all follicles, the doctor suggested IUI as alternative plan but we decided to do another scan the next day, the follicles grew further(20,18,15mm) and we decided to proceed to IVF and I got trigger shots the same night.
However it turned out on collection day(it was Monday) that ovulation had already happened and I couldn't collect any eggs unfortunately.
It was really disappointing result for me as I flew over all the way to Denmark but mostly because my eggs were wasted.
The doctor and nurse were really sympathetic and we established more individual plan for next cycles.
Then I received an invoice for cancellation IVF around 1000 USD, clinic says that patients always need to pay for cancelling of IVF treatment if it is cancelled before aspiration. No matter what the reason is.
I feel that this premature ovulation could've prevented if the clinic prescribed with better plan for me (they already knew about 3 follicles different sizes from my first scan before I flew over to Denmark) and clinic is partly responsible.
Also, 1st scan in Denmark was Friday, 2nd one was Saturday and clinic is closed on Sunday... I feel that if Clinic had helped me with better plan to avoid ovulation on sunday, would've prevented premature ovulation.
Did anyone have similar experience? I feel that paying this charge is a bit unfair for me, I cannot shake off that the clinic is partly responsible for this and I am also afraid this may happen again in the next cycles after I fly all the way to copenhagen. Any experience sharing will be appreciated ❤️
I found out today that my first fresh embryo transfer failed. It was my first go at IVF, following 2 failed IUIs. I luckily got 2 more blasts from the IVF which are frozen, but they weren’t amazing grades so not holding much hope right now. I’m 39.
I just feel pretty dejected and lonely today. It’s so much effort, money, and time to do this solo. I was feeling so confident in my choice but right now I really resent all this expense (pretty much all my money, which otherwise would have been for a house, has gone on this) and emotional energy. I’ve had a friend say today that the stats get better the more goes you have… But as a married person with two babies, I think she cannot comprehend how it feels to pour so much money and effort into this.
Anyway, I am sure I’ll pick myself back up - and realise it’s a privilege to have two frozen blasts - but needed to vent a bit today!
And would love to hear others’ stories about how long it took, your journeys. I’m sure I’m not really alone in this.
Edit: just adding a note to say thanks for all the lovely replies. I have so much respect for this community - you all demonstrate so much resilience. And the support everyone shows for each other is 🥹 it’s made me feel much better, thank you. Wishing you all the best for your journeys to motherhood (and beyond!).