u/cloverrblooms

Hi SMBC sub,

I cannot thank you all enough for the support you have given me over the last year in my IVF journey. I have had 3 failed cycles - 1 IUI, 2 IVF. I'm 31, I have PCOS and adenomyosis.

This cycle I had a new clinic, new doctor, new protocol, new donor. We did a fresh 3 day transfer of a grade 1, 16-cell embryo.

Cw - success:

My beta came back nice and strong today at 243. I will have a repeat in 48 hours. I'm so scared because in my last pregnancy (8 years ago to the month) it was a repeat blood test that told me my hcg wasn't doubling, so I'm feeling a bit... triggered I guess? But feel like everything so far is pointing in the right direction.

I'm still absolutely terrified of everything that could go wrong, and a little bit disconnected, but beginning to let myself see some hope.

This sub was a lifeline to me after each of my failed cycles, truly. I felt so alone, and not many people irl knew what was going on for me. Now I let myself hope for a happy outcome.

<3

31F, SMBC + donor sperm. PCOS. 7 months of this so far. 1 previous miscarriage when I was 23 (natural conception).

2 failed IVF cycles. Identical protocols, but with different doses. Cycle 1 not enough eggs, cycle 2 too many eggs. Both cycles very high fertilisation, and total embryo arrest - none made it to blast. Doctor says 'poor egg quality'. Switched clinics. New donor. Tried an IUI which I found out this past Friday failed.

Day 1 again yesterday. Supposed to start new IVF protocol of menopur tonight. New doctor wants to do a day 3 fresh transfer (due to my previous arrests) but I still want to try for another freeze all. Terrified of m/c. Will have to miss more work for ER.

Well I'm a teacher and spent both my recess and lunch breaks today sobbing in the classroom (obvs pulled myself together before the kids came back). Got the SMS that my meds were ready. Finished school, sobbed all the way to the pharmacy. Sat in the pharmacy and sobbed more. Pharmacist told me that she had been through IVF too and that maybe I needed a break.

And yesterday I went on a date with an old work colleague. It was fabulous. I almost want to give it a few weeks to see if it goes anywhere. But everyone is telling me it's ridiculous to pause treatment for a guy I've been out with once.

Part of me wonders if I should just keep pushing. Taking a break won't get me any closer to my baby. But the emotional strain at the moment, is so much. This will sound fucking ridiculous but my birthday is in April, so I keep telling myself I need to push through this cycle if I want a baby before my next birthday. Realistically given my track record this is unlikely regardless.

How did you know if it was time for a break? If I do take one it'll only be a month. But I don't know. I'm so tired and so sad.

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TL;DR - feeling the emotional strain of multiple failed cycles as a single woman doing this alone. Wondering if it's worth taking a break or continuing to push through?

I'm 11dpiui with donor sperm and getting my results on Thursday. Lo and behold a few days ago a colleague from my old job (who I definitely had a thing for haha) added my social media and after chatting for a bit, has asked me out.

I'm very sure I want to do motherhood on my own. But this would also be my first date in over 3 years, and I like this person and want to go.

On one hand I don't want to put my life on hold, I've had two failed IVF cycles and IUI has even less chance of working, so there's no guarantee it's worked. There's also no guarantee this would go further than one date. On the other hand, could the timing be any worse? I mean how the hell would I even navigate that conversation?

I know I don't need all the answers right now but if anyone has been in a similar boat - advice would be very welcome...

Edit for spelling

ETA: Thanks for all your wonderful responses, I'm so thankful for this community throughout this journey. I tested negative tonight, 12dpiui on a FRER anyway. May as well go on the date and enjoy myself. I am very sure that I don't want a coparent, but am still open to someone to spend time with/date. Might as well see where it goes.

I've had two failed IVF cycles (high retrieval/fertilisation, zero blastocysts) and have moved clinics. I absolutely love my new doctor, and feel much more comfortable. He advised that we try an IUI to give my body a break and try something different. I'm triggering tonight (Tuesday) for the IUI on Thursday morning.

I know I want this more than anything but I'm scared I won't be able to handle what comes if something bad happens again - whether it doesn't work, or if it does work and I have another loss (I've had one loss before) or something goes wrong.

If you felt like this what helped you through it?

I'm trying to tell myself that hope and fear can exist together, that anxiety is not intuition, etc. I feel like the chance of good news is just as scary after so much bad news.

ETA: I love being single, and doing this solo is my first choice. But sometimes the doubt creeps in!

Input needed please.

31F; PCOS & adenomyosis; clinic donor sperm.

2 failed rounds of IVF with very high retrievals + fertilisation (TW high numbers: eg. 26 retrieved, 25 mature, 21 fertilised) and total embryo arrest both times.

I've just switched clinics and am so much happier with the new one. Since then I've heard that the old clinic has a bit of a money grabbing reputation and pushes everyone towards IVF even if not clinically indicated at first. The old clinic also told me that if I did IUI and fell pregnant, I probably couldn't use the same donor again - this is because you couldn't buy vials in advance, you just had to use clinic recruited donor sperm each round and bank as many embryos as possible before getting pregnant because if it ran out before you were ready to use more then too bad.

My new doctor felt this was unethical. He would like to try a round or two of IUI before going back into IVF. His logic is that it's something different and that the lab environment doesn't work for everyone. Less stress on my body too. This clinic also allowed me to purchase vials in advance from a sperm bank. They are technically IVF vials but he's going to talk to the scientists and make sure they're ok to use. If one or two fail we would go back to IVF.

Im feeling okay with this plan at the moment. I understand IUI technically has a lower success rate, but I'm currently sitting on a 0% IVF success, whereas I did have one previous pregnancy with an ex partner naturally conceived - so official numbers don't mean too much. Anecdotes are welcome.

Thoughts? Experiences??

TL;DR. Anyone had success with IUI after failed IVF rounds?