u/nbel1996

30F here, plan A is to get married and have kids the old fashioned way, plan B is to pursue becoming a SMBC in the next 5 years if I don’t meet the right guy. I have never frozen eggs but have had baseline testing done for it in the past. I know I want to be a mom more than I want to do just about anything and have been on this sub pretty consistently for the last 6+ mos.

So my AMH sucks (currently 0.8, was as low as 0.5 a couple of years ago) and I’ve had FSH between 7-16, which from the homework I’ve done would likely make me a poor responder to IVF/egg freezing. I also have bipolar disorder, and while I’m very stable now, I’m concerned the whole process of egg retrieval and the hormones involved would be very destabilizing for my mood (yes I know pregnancy would also be very destabilizing lol, but I can worry about that in 5 years once I’ve had more time stable under my belt, as I was just diagnosed with bipolar last year). I would also hate to spend 20k on egg freezing with the possibility of only retrieving 1-2 eggs, which I know is possible with my numbers.

All of the above being said, I’m considering freezing embryos with both donor eggs + sperm within the next year so to have as a safeguard should I be single in 5 years and want to pursue this path (this also gives me some time to be more established in my career/save more money). While I would prefer the child to be genetically mine, I also know that they run the risk of inheriting bipolar disorder from me, and that’s something I wouldn’t wish on my kids (though I would love the shit out of them regardless, my point being though I’m not overly attached to my genes). And again, the whole idea of going through the egg freezing process is just scary and a lot to wrap my head around.

Just curious if anyone on here had gone right to donor eggs versus using their own? If so, do you have any regrets or any words of insight?

Just curious if anyone here lives in New Mexico and can speak to their universal/free daycare. Thinking of moving there if I pursue this for the free daycare (+ it’s only 6 hours from my home base).

Caveat that I’m an RD, not an RN. Unfortunately there aren’t enough of us dietitians out there interested in traveling to have such a forum 🥲

I’m considering switching from working as a hospital staff RD to traveling. My tax home expenses are around $1100/mo, travel contract expenses would be around that much, RD travel pay is usually around $2500/week (versus my abysmal current pay of $32.76/hr). I’m young and don’t have kids, have been in the field for a few years and want to explore the country, and also have significant financial goals that regular RD money just won’t support.

My big hang up is A) health insurance and B) risk of burnout. My current job is verrrrrry chill, I’m not paid well but it’s easy work, and I live in a city where I have lots of friends/family. I also have a chronic health condition I manage where decent health insurance is an absolute must for me (but I’m stable and have been managing it pretty well, just routine/maintenance stuff).

I’ve heard picking up and moving every few months for contracts can just be really difficult, and am curious to hear more about the travel lifestyle and what everyone’s experiences have been. What are the biggest pros/cons you wish you knew about before traveling?

30F here, want to have kids more than anything. I would ideally like to meet a partner and do this the old fashioned way, so I’m debating how much time to give myself before going at it alone. I do okay financially (not great, make $75k/year but I have no debt and keep my cost of living down, around $40k saved/invested excluding retirement, my bills between rent/car payments are around $1500/month). Ideally I’d like to wait a few years to save money and be in a better spot financially, but I’m also realizing that I don’t think I’ll ever feel 100% prepared financially no matter how much money I have saved up, and my chances at this being successful are best when I’m young. My parents are also in their late 60’s.

To any of the women on here who started this process in their late 30’s/early 40’s, do you wish you’d done it sooner, even if it would have been a hit financially?

+ does anyone know if they’ve filmed/when they’re filming?

I’ll start - I think people certain people who have previously defended Danny/Nia are going to do a 180, given the viewers’ reactions to them this season.

Had my first hypomanic episode at the end of July, got the official dx a few weeks later (+ confirmed by a second opinion in September). After my episode, I lost my job.

Now that I’m the right cocktail of meds and have prioritized sleep/sobriety/all of the lifestyle things, my life is 100x better. I’m not in an abusive relationship. I’m not getting stoned every night. I found a job that works for me and was promoted to leadership a few months after starting. I’ve been in my new role for 6 months and haven’t called out sick yet or come into work late once (something I was doing on a regular basis at my last job).

With treatment and time, things do get a lot better.

I just don’t see a way the writers can make her the daughter of someone important without it feeling shoehorned.

All of this speculation about Daisy’s parents reminds me so much of when the Star Wars sequel trilogy came out, and how for YEARS people theorized who Rey’s parents were. And I would argue that in that case, it was more plausible she’d be the child of someone important. A) this was the fandom that gave us the reveal of Darth Vader being Luke’s father, big parental reveals have precedence, and B) it’s implied that having the power to use the force is genetic, meaning her being the daughter of a powerful Jedi we’d met before made sense.

Yet when the reveal finally came that she was Palpatine’s granddaughter (after being told she was the child of nobodies in the previous film), the fandom consensus was that it didn’t work. It felt shoehorned in and was ultimately a disservice to her character, who we’d gotten to know as this powerful badass who came from nothing.

Unless we get a flashback of Daisy’s birth parents and they introduce two completely new characters, I personally would rather Daisy’s birth parents remain a mystery.

I’m rewatching THT after finishing TT, and in season 1 episode 6 they make a point to mention that Gilead’s agriculture is thriving compared to the rest of the world due to new weather patterns.

I was re-reading Catching Fire recently, and there’s a scene where Katniss probes her prep team about which imported goods are harder to come by in the Capitol, because it gives her an idea of which of the 12 districts in Panem have rebelled (i.e. no seafood was a giveaway that District 4 had rebelled).

Anyway - because Catching Fire was still fresh on my mind, there was a throwaway line that stuck out to me in episode 4 of TT. The were going through Agnes’s gift baskets, and one of them makes a comment about Agnes getting oranges. Shu looks at Penny and goes, “yeah, oranges are alright, but didn’t you get guavas and lychees when you were a green?”

To which Penny replies, “yeah, but they were easier to get back then.”

To which Hulda comments, “artichokes are hard to come by these days.”

Assuming these are clues about which regions have revolted - oranges are still relatively easy to obtain, and they’re grown in a few different states in the US. Guavas and lychees are primarily either imported internationally (which, given countries have sanctions against Gilead and/or are already struggling with their agriculture, is probably a no), OR they are grown in Hawaii or Florida. We already know Hawaii is independent. Artichokes are grown exclusively in California.

I think this throwaway line is a clue that Florida and California are having large scale active rebellions against Gilead.

Edited for spelling/grammar

so I broke off an engagement last summer to a man who was verbally and emotionally abusive. I'm 30 now, single, and have recently felt a little lonely and insecure about the fact that I'm in my 30's and nowhere close to marriage or kids, which is something I still deeply want.

At the time that I left, I was also still really in love with the person I broke up with, even though I was treated poorly (classic tale of "we fight hard, but we love harder." toxic af) and while I've never wondered if I made a mistake, there are times where I catch myself second guessing if things were as bad as I thought they were, and if maybe our issues were something we could "work through."

watching Danny and Nia, however, has made me feel VERY solid in my decision. the behaviors being shown are a reminder of what I had to deal with for the last few years, and that was BEFORE kids. A lot of what Nia is doing in these episodes - covering for Danny, apologizing to him/placating him when she's done literally nothing wrong, putting up with blatant disrespect even after repeatedly telling him to stop - are exactly the kinds of things I was doing to help "keep the peace" in my relationship.

I can't imagine how much worse it must be with four kids in the picture. I really feel for Nia.

Broke off an engagement at 29 and just turned 30. Worried about dating/the biological clock and could use some uplifting stories.

30F here. SMBC is my plan B (I broke off an engagement around 9 months ago, the relationship was emotionally abusive and I'm still not fully healed). I want to have kids more than I want to do anything, and ideally I would like to do it with a partner, however I'm worried I'm running out of time.

I just had a fertility consult to get my numbers re-checked (AMH, AFC, FSH) as I got these checked two years ago and six months ago, and at both times I met criteria for DOR. I'm planning to get my eggs frozen at some point within the next year to buy myself some time.

My plan for right now is - once I've done some more work on myself and healed from my last relationship - to give myself an honest shot at dating for the next couple of years, and if that doesn't work out, start seriously thinking about becoming a SMBC.

The biggest things holding me back from this route is 1) finances and 2) lack of family support.

I make $70k/year and the earning potential in my field isn't great (I'll be lucky if I clear 6 figures ever). I don't have any debt and have probably $60-70k saved between retirement, investments and a high-yield savings account, but only about $20k of that is liquid (worth noting, I lost a lot of money when I left my fiance, but that's another conversation).

I brought up to my mom last night that I was thinking of taking this route, and her response was that "kids need a father," and that in order for me to do it alone I would need significantly more money, which she pointedly reminded me I don't have. My dad is more supportive of the whole idea but he lives far away (two time zones + a flight), whereas my mom lives close by.

I'm in the process of talking my dad into moving out to be closer to me (for reasons that have nothing to do with me, it's purely because he's very isolated where he lives and I don't want him to be so far when his health inevitably starts failing), but it's also worth noting that even if my parents were wildly supportive, they're on the older side (67 and 68, respectively), and I worry that I'll be in a situation where I'll have to take care of them, myself, and my baby at the same time.

Just curious if anyone moved forward with this process who was in a similar financial situation + family situation, and if so, how did you navigate this?

did I miss something? don't get me wrong, love that the girls are on good terms, but I feel like they went from being not cool to being besties again without much... context?

like, did I miss them making up? or was it a Kristen-Ariana situation where production decided it wasn't relevant to show us? please advise

30F here, I make ~$70k/year. Have about $18k saved up in an emergency fund (so egg freezing would wipe out most of it). I really want to have kids and am currently single.

I’m thinking about freezing my eggs (my AMH is low, 0.8), but the cost is really holding me back, especially since the outcome seems so unpredictable. Insurance won’t cover anything so I’d be paying out of pocket.

Just curious if anyone was in a similar financial situation and felt it was / wasn’t worth it. I’m debating waiting a year or two to save some more money, but I know now is the youngest I’ll ever be, so 🤷‍♀️

edit: appreciate everyone's feedback! unfortunately going overseas isn't an option for me with my schedule :( neither is cofertility, I applied a few years ago and my family hx of bipolar disorder ruled me out (+ I've since been diagnosed with it myself lol). but I really appreciate everyone's input <3