My Dad Died
Tonight it will be two weeks. The longest two weeks of my life. He waited for me to come back from my business trip. He wasn’t really conscious when I came in from the airport, but I told him dad I’m home. I’m back and his arms reached up and wrapped around me and pulled me in for our last hug. I spent the day together him sleeping and me holding his hand and then I went home that night and I got a call in the morning at 7 AM telling me that he had died. I wasn’t there. I should’ve spent the night. I was with him every single step for the past 12 years ,every day, every doctor appointment, every hospital, every last moment, and I wasn’t there for the moment he died. I don’t know how I feel about that I’m so lost now, I wasn’t prepared for how quiet and calm. Everything is all the chaos is gone, and I’m not really sure what to do with myself. I’ve done nothing but take care of him for the last 12 years, it was my identity. The pain I feel missing him is so heavy. Everything feels very heavy. I can’t believe it’s over. Everything just stopped.