I’ve been drinking almost every day for over a year, and not ‘casually’. I’ve been told it’s normal to want a drink with dinner or after work but instead of one or two I end up starting and not stopping until I’m very wasted. There’s less than 10 days I can count when I wasn’t drinking since this problem started. People around me have noticed I have a problem, and I know I do. I know I need to stop and I’ve been telling myself I will for months but I just don’t know how. I think about alcohol all the time, and every time I say “I’ll stop after tonight” or “I’ll stop after I finish this box/bottle” I just end up right back buying more. I’ll even make sure my house has no alcohol and try to make it through one night but I can’t keep myself from going to buy more. I’m making myself broke at this point. I’m too scared to ask for help from my parents or friends, and I’m too scared to go to an AA meeting because I am young (under the legal drinking age) and my anxiety gets the better of me every time.
Today is hard, there is no alcohol at my house and I can’t stop thinking about going to get more so I can tonight. I keep telling myself I need to break the cycle but the urge is almost over bearing.
Does anyone have advice for me on what to do? Maybe coping mechanisms or ways to keep myself accountable?