Hi all. Been reading here a while.
Last night I shaved my whole body for the first time and used what I had in my makeup bag — soft blur primer, eye primer, one shade from a 5-color palette pressed on the lid with a fingertip, liquid bronzer (still figuring out "blend up and back"), a Milk stick on cheeks + lips, matte lip crème. By myself. No audience. Pouring rain outside. It's the first time I've done all the reps without a mirror full of fear behind me. I felt soft.
I've had a feminine name picked out for a while. She starts with an A. I'll keep her to myself for now.
Not on hormones. Not out but everyone knows. Not in a rush. Finished Detransition Baby & Masker. Living in Hawaii right now, which makes the world feel small and close. Most people I know would either not understand or would throw me more resoures. I got a $800 makeup kit to play with.
Not asking for anything with this post — just wanted to land somewhere it might be heard.
PS: I was taken to the gym right after, and I purely trained arms to failure using ultra low weights. I was weaker and more fatigued than girls coming in. They even asked to help... Working on voice rn.
If you've got memory of your own first solo-makeup night I'd love to hear how it sat with you.
— A.