Victim of every form of neglect
EXTREME TW. growing up i faced emotional, physical, medical, environmental, and educational neglect. all the while living in a stage 4-5 hoarding house, + exposure to extreme addiction and domestic violence, self inflicted harm, mentions of pedophilia. DO NOT CONTINUE IF ANYTHING LISTED WILL TRIGGER YOU.
im still young, i just turned 19. i was forced out of school in 5th grade and only did a month of online school when i was 13? or 14. my house lacked just about every necessity. >!example, i had to defecate in bags and pee in cups. i had no water in my home as well as no heat. i could not shower, winter was my worst nightmare, summer too because of the bugs & rotten food from my mothers hoarding. !<i would frequently fall ill, there were many other health problems too that were never checked. i endured emotional abuse everyday, blamed for things that were entirely her fault and under her control as a parent. proper care felt like a myth to me. i'd wear the same, dirty clothes for weeks on end, which was never a problem for her since i was practically stuck and isolated in my house for years—if i could even call it my house, it never felt like a home. i'd ask for basic needs and never received.
some other things my mother put me through; refused to cut off a pedophile for 5+ years even though he clearly had something going on with me and would actually harass me on my phone (would get mad if i didn't answer, and so mad whenever i blocked him that my mother forced me to unblock him. + not to mention he'd push past me to get into the house while knowing i had no pants on, MULTIPLE TIMES, he CONFESSED THIS TO ME INFRONT OF HER.) i was exposed to addiction my entire life, i looked death in the eyes at 12 and had to literally bring one of her friends back to life after they overdosed. laughed in my face and told me i didn't know how to >!"self harm/cut myself properly".!< had me living in hotels for a year straight with her manic, concerningly obsessive girlfriend at the time who was borderline stalking us afterwards. (this is the same woman who'd also discuss very inappropriate topics with me or around me. literally had me sitting next to a used dildo in the back of her car when i was 13.) had 2 addicts living with us, which left me dealing with now 3 unreliable adults who'd regularly fight, nod out 24/7 and nearly overdose. threaten to hit, beat and>!kill!<me (never physically abused me.) would tell me to >!kill myself.!<she'd let violent men into our house and also let an abusive couple live with us, i have vivid memories of john doe on top of jane doe practically bashing her face in right next to where i slept, all while i was sobbing and begging them to stop. many nights i'd hear crashing, banging and yelling upstairs in what used to be my brothers room before he moved out, but my mom still never kicked them out.
there's so much more i could say. so many incidents. i'd lose my voice if i were to tell every one. my only question is, where do i even start? HOW do i start my life? how do i just move on from that like it never happened? life would be easier with a diploma to back me up, but i don't even have that. i plan to get my ged.