I (24F) recently moved to a new country in Europe about 3 weeks ago, and I went on a date yesterday with a guy (21M) I’ve been talking to. He actually lives in a neighboring country and traveled around 3–4 hours just to meet me, which I thought was really sweet.
The date itself went really well. We walked around, held hands, talked a lot, and overall I felt really comfortable with him. He even picked some flowers on the way to give me, which I found super cute. At the end, he wanted to kiss me but there were a lot of people around and I wasn’t comfortable, and he respected that, which I appreciated.
We also had some deeper conversations about family, future, etcccc and he said he really liked me and felt a strong connection.
But later that night, things got a bit weird.
He told me that the only thing “stopping him” from being fully sure about me is that he hasn’t seen my body yet. He said since we live far apart and it takes time and money to visit, he doesn’t want to “waste time” meeting multiple times and then realize he’s not physically attracted to me. He also tried to justify it by saying men have physical needs, etc.
I get that physical attraction matters, but the way he said it made me really uncomfortable. It felt kind of transactional, like I need to prove something before we even properly get to know each other. Especially after just one date.
I told him I understand where he’s coming from, but that there are better ways to approach something like that. Now he wants to talk later, and I’m honestly not even sure I feel like having that conversation.
Am I overreacting here? Is this a normal concern just expressed badly, or is this a red flag?