Lowering Birthday Expectations
Edited since everyone keeps asking - she is having a party at a venue a few weeks later. This has been booked and sorted for ages as this was their availability. Her father will be taking care of that. The obsession is her wanting people over our house the day of her actual birthday, not going out and doing things, not anything else but having children in the house. This is not a possibility as I'm having skin graphs down my legs.
For context - My daughters 9th birthday is coming up and I unfortunately I have to have surgery a few days before - this is cancer related and cannot be postponed. She knows this.. This is not the first surgery and won't be the last.
We have planned a small family party with cake, ice cream and presents on the day and an actual party later on in the month.
But she's become completely obsessed with having friends over on the day. I honestly don't know how many times or ways I've tried explaining that this just is not happening. Maybe if the weather's nice her and friend or two could meet up at the park but nope that's not good enough. She keeps saying it like having 3-5 eight year olds isn't a big deal.
In the past week she's tried inviting the neighbours children, every single child at church.. Literally any child she's come across who she vaguely knows to our house. I shut it down and have every single time stating that she's having a party at a later date but it's just starting to wear me down. I snapped at her this morning and told her if she brought it up one we'd cancel the entire damn thing, later party included.
I know I shouldn't have lost it but I'm so tired of this 20+ times a day, every day for a solid month. I feel guilty enough but... Yeah I am at a loss on how to make her understand.