My wife (28f) and i (29m) have an 11 week old baby. Since pregnancy we were pretty set that we wanted no one in the house for at least the first week, and then would play it by ear about when we were ready for visitors or guests. Labor turned out to be much harder on my wife than we had hoped, and we agreed that it would be nice to have some help around the house for the first week or two. So both sets of parents ended up staying with us for about 4 days each, one after the other. The help was nice, but obviously things don't get done the way you would do them, and we were just ready to have our own space back.
Since then we have instituted the rule that no one can stay in the house. If they come to visit, they have to get an Airbnb or hotel. For reference, my parents are 12 hours away, and hers are 5. So it's not always a simple 2 day stay, as the grandparents want to maximize time with their grandbaby.
Recently both sets of parents have been bemoaning how expensive it is to come visit and have to get lodging for the whole time they're here. Recently her parents tried to guilt/bribe us into letting them stay with us, saying that the money they spend on lodging could be better spent on spoiling us and their grandbaby. My parents also mentioned how it was getting expensive, but did not push the issue.
My wife and I are still very uninterested in allowing them to come stay with us, as they mess up babies sleep schedule, keeping baby up past wake windows, and overall just throwing a wrench in the nice routine we have established as the three of us.
Are we the assholes for making their lives more expensive when they want to visit their grandchild on a monthly basis?