AITA for refusing to support my 19-year-old best friend trying to get pregnant by a 30-year-old man she met a month ago?
I (19F) have been best friends with “Brittney” (19F) since first grade. She’s always been in and out of relationships, but one thing she’s ALWAYS said is that she hates clingy partners and never wants a relationship where she’s attached at the hip to someone.
In 2024 she started dating “Steve” (19M, almost 20). They met online, and I was already hesitant because he told her he got kicked out of his house for smoking weed. We were still in high school at the time. About 6 months into dating, he moved into Brittney and her mom’s house.
The relationship became exhausting. Steve had zero friends and refused to let Brittney go anywhere alone. Every time we hung out, he tagged along because he apparently didn’t trust her friends, including me. Brittney and I even stopped talking for about 2 months because I got tired of him always being there.
About a month ago Brittney randomly called me saying she was single. Apparently a guy from work (“Adam”) asked for her number not knowing she had a boyfriend, and she gave it to him. Steve found out, screamed at her, called her a cnt and a whre, and she kicked him out.
Honestly, I thought the breakup was for the best.
But almost immediately after, Brittney started dating Adam. After their first date she called me giggling because they made out in his car after the movies. Normally I wouldn’t care, except Brittney has NEVER acted like this before. It took her a YEAR to get intimate with Steve because she’s usually super cautious physically.
Then she dropped the bombshell: Adam is 30.
She’s 19. He’s 30.
A couple weeks later she admitted they’d been sleeping together regularly since their second date and avoiding protection because she knew I’d “lecture her.” And yes, I did. I told her she needed birth control or SOME kind of protection because getting pregnant at 19 by a man she barely knows is a terrible idea.
A few days ago she called me hysterically crying. I thought she was pregnant.
Nope. She was upset because she WASN’T pregnant.
Apparently she’d convinced herself she wanted a baby with him after knowing him for barely a month. I told her I didn’t understand why she’d WANT to be pregnant at 19, especially when she wants to become a hairstylist and open her own salon someday. Having a baby this young — especially with a 30-year-old she barely knows — could completely derail her future.
She got angry and told me I should support her happiness instead of being negative. Now she’s barely speaking to me because I “don’t support her relationship.”
I love her like a sister, but I genuinely think she’s making one of the biggest mistakes of her life.
AITA?