The Office Is Triggering
Been working in an office setting for a hot minute now (previously had been working jobs where I could be more isolated,) and it’s been extremely triggering. Hearing people chatter and enjoy themselves has left me feeling incredibly isolated and defensive and I could not find reasons why. JUST realized today it comes from being bullied as a little girl, in 5th grade. I get in a social setting that remind me of elementary school and i immediately start looking for warning signs/danger. People in the office laughing feels like an attack, just like it actually WAS in elementary. I’ve known I’ve been paranoid and been isolating myself in the office and haven’t enjoyed being like that but for the life of me I could not figure out why, but now I know. Which is half the battle of getting over this. The little girl inside of me, the 5th grader, has been running my career choices for 15 years now, my friendships as well. And it’s just now really clicking for me. I heart hurts for her and I’m so excited to show her what acceptance and sunshine feels like, and tell her she’s absolutely perfect the way she is. Anybody relate? Any insight or advice?