u/Holiday-Top-5949

Im 35, single with no kids and was diagnosed back in August via a d&C after I nearly bled to death (hemoglobin of 3.7). Had a full hysterectomy (kept both ovaries) on 9/9 and pathology came back very positive, stage 1a less than 35% of the way through the muscle wall. Just have to do surveillance monitoring for 5 years. Recovery has been relatively easy for me. All of this is fantastic news and I feel like a spoiled brat for what I’m about to say next.

I still feel awful. I am constantly on the verge of a panic attack wondering if it comes back and I miss it? Who is ever going to want me now that I have this huge risk factor? Why don’t I get to be a normal person and get to have a baby like all of my friends? Sure I’m cancer free but I’m up to my eyeballs in medical debt that all but guarantees that I’ll never own a home. My friends have been amazing and so supportive and are of course thrilled that I no longer have cancer and I just can’t find the words to explain to anyone that I am still so deeply sad. I really thought that the “cancer free” news would feel better but man it just doesn’t. Did anyone else feel this way? Any tips for overcoming this? Or is this a “time heals all wounds” situation?

After being admitted to the ICU with a 3.7 hemoglobin (to answer your question I don’t know how I was up and walking around either lol) I had a biopsy, a d&c and received my diagnosis a little over a week ago. I’m 35 and while I was already pretty sure kids were not in the cards for me I am deeply grieving that this choice is being taken away from me, it’s like great I’m going to be 35, single, and barren. I have my first appointment with my oncologist on Monday and I feel like I’ve mostly been in denial because I am in no way mentally or logistically prepared for having major surgery or any of the treatments that might come after. So after all this rambling i guess my question is how do I prepare myself for whats to come? What’s something you wish you knew before surgery? What helped you the most in recovery? How do I stop feeling so betrayed by my body and very quickly make peace with the fact that I’m never having children?

Thank you all for reading the word vomit of a very overwhelmed person who has not slept very well in over a week because of the anesthesia from my D&C and cancer diagnosis lol

ETA- flubbed the terminology in the title I meant Figo Grade, from what I understand staging comes after surgery.