my life is so fucked
Do you guys ever feel that you fucked up everything nice that ever happened to you? My mental health was really bad during the 11th to 12th. I made some stupid, stupid decisions, and I was a pain in the ass at school (because they were very worried about me, but my stubborn ass would not listen). I ended fucking things beyond the point of coming back. I lost 2 really good friends, and people started back bitching. Towards the end of school, I was really alone, I mean, truly alone. Now I look at pictures of teachers interacting with students. But when I go there is an indifference. I feel like I lost everything, but my going through depression does not feel like a good justification anymore.
I can't change what happened (I wish I could), but I'm scared that I might end up doing the same things and will fuck up more. It feels so lonely to come back home from uni knowing I have no friends and will remain in my house forever, while all of my other uni friends catch and post about their hangouts. I feel so fucked up, and I just want to startt againn.