My Partner is Exploring and I Feel Lost
Hi, all. This is my first ever post on Reddit, so please be kind.
My partner (still currently preferring male pronouns) recently came to me and told me that he wants to start exploring his gender identity and experimenting with more “feminine” things. He said these feelings have come up on and off for a while, but this time he really wants to explore them and figure out what they mean.
Over the past few weeks, he’s started experimenting with makeup, clothes, and wigs at home. He genuinely seems happy trying new looks and expressing himself this way. He’s even mentioned feeling happy and comfortable with how he looks while presenting more femininely.
I want to be clear that I fully support the trans community, and I love my partner more than anything. But emotionally, I am really struggling.
I know he’s still the same person in many ways, but everything suddenly feels unfamiliar. It feels like my heart is breaking even though nothing has technically changed yet.
Before this, I truly believed I had found the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Now it feels like the future I pictured is collapsing around me, and I don’t know how to process that.
I want to support him and be there for him in every way I can, but I’m struggling to figure out how to do that while also taking care of myself emotionally. The past few days I’ve been incredibly depressed, and honestly, it feels like I’m grieving or going through a breakup even though I still come home to him every night.
I want this relationship to work — I really do. I just feel lost, overwhelmed, and scared that I’m holding onto a version of our future that may no longer exist.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.