I was just hit with the an outrageous craving for filth. You know the kind where your stomach gets into a knot and you can feel the dopamine start to drip. I’m on day 6 and I presume that the proverbial testosterone spike of day 7 adds to the tension. I thought here we go again I’m slipping.
But then I gave myself some positive self-talk:
I said to myself can you imagine the day you meet Allah and you can genuinely say ya Allah I gave everything and I quit only for your sake?
Can you imagine the day when someone asks if you watch this dirt and you can say “No, I don’t” and ACTUALLY mean it?
Can you imagine that on your wedding night you don’t have to deal with the humiliation of pied? Or having to battle with the haram even your marriage?
This positive inner conversation gave me a wave of HOPE. WHAT IF I CAN ACTUALLY DO IT?
I kid you not, immediately after my self-talk, my strong urge DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR! Which was weird to me because normally no amount of reasoning had that effect on me.
I believe remembering Allah and the fact that I am doing this for Him alone and the hope in the consequent benefits quitting was enough to pacify my nafs.
I believe it is important to NEVER lose hope because it’s easier to give up when there is no salvation in sight.
We make a million excuses to justify a relapse and once that justification becomes rooted in the heart, the dopamine starts dripping and the nafs starts screaming like a ravenous animal.
So our excuses seem totally plausible:
Marriage is far away.
Some may be studying.
Some are unemployed.
There may be temptations in schools, uni, social media, in the marketplace etc.
The urges are excruciating.
Every single excuse we have seems perfectly plausible and THAT IS THE PROBLEM KEEPING US STUCK.
*BEFORE ANY RELAPSE THERE IS A JUSTIFICATION*
All these excuses are a justification to continue the habit. The body takes the shortest route to relief and unfortunately haram has taken the place of what should be marriage.
These justifications are a trick of the mind to not feel bad when you do relapse because “Hey, it’s just one last time btw you’ll only be able to get married in 3 years time so..” AND JUST LOOK HOW AT HOW “one last time” HAS TURNED INTO A DECADE OR MORE OF “JUST THIS LAST TIME..”
So what’s the crux?
WE MUST LEAVE PMO DESPITE OUR SEEMINGLY PLAUSIBLE EXCUSES. THERE IS HOPE. HAVE A POSITIVE MINDSET AND BELIEVE THAT THINGS WILL GET BETTER. ONE DAY WE’LL BE FREE AND IT WILL BE GLORIOUS. OUR SOLE AIM OF QUITTING IS FOR THE PLEASURE AND FORGIVENESS OF ALLAH. ANY OTHER BENEFIT IS A BONUS.