My wife has changed over the past few days and it’s worrying me.
My wife and I brought home our little girl just under two weeks ago.
We are young and have been learning as we go but as of late (the past few days) I have noticed my wife change in worrying ways.
Obviously we are in the “newborn trenches”. We have had some great nights and others, like last night, not so much.
One of the biggest issues we have with our girl has been over the past couple days, she has slept all day but will do anything but go down at night and will nonstop eat at night. This has obviously led to a good amount of sleeplessness and we are working to address the issue. On top of that, episodes of non stop crying, constantly having to pump and fear of when I have to go back to work(next week) has put a mental strain on her as well.
I try in every way possible to be the best coparent. I feed, change, burp, put to sleep and watch the baby the same amount she does and whenever she needs to do something I ensure she doesn’t need to worry about the baby. During the rough nights,I’m awake, right beside her doing everything I can as well.
I also try as much as I can, to be there for my wife. Constantly telling her she is doing good job, that I love her, that we will get through this, that she is great mother and that I need her and that I’m here for her in anyway possible. Helping her with chores, taking care of her, making sure we always have food, handling all the doctor stuff, pretty much trying to make sure the only thing she needs to worry about is the baby and making sure she can still do stuff that she is interested, like reading.
Over the past couple days, I have noticed my wife shift in moods during the day, specifically when evening approaches.
She will begin shutting down, acting depressed and almost fed up with the baby, reluctantly doing anything with her and when she does, seems like the most unhappy person in the world, we have literally started calling the “sundown scaries”. On top of this, when she changes her mood, she has made statements of “I don’t want to do this anymore or I can’t do this anymore” and after deep conversations in these moods, has revealed she misses not having the baby and wishes we would’ve waited, almost regretting everything. Most of the time when it happens she emphasizes how tired she is and how “tonight will be the same” and “I have never met a baby this hard to take care of” and just large amounts of frustration with our baby. (My wife was a daycare teacher for infants prior to getting pregnant/giving birth).
Outside of these moments, things are great. She is loving and caring with our baby and wants everything to do with her.
This feeling/mood switch almost always comes up anytime there is an issue with the baby, in a sense.
This worries me heavily. I love my wife and my daughter and yes it has been hard but I know this is apart of raising a baby and want my wife to know that too. We will get through this together and I am here for her so much.
Had anyone experienced the same or know what she or I can do to help?