u/Homebrwed

I (16M, turning 17 soon) honestly don’t even know how to feel about this situation anymore, so I wanted to get some outside perspectives because it’s been eating at me for a while.

My mom (52F) has this habit where she’ll randomly come up to me n basically pounce on me as a way of “showing affection.” Like I’m talking full-on long hugs where she’s almost trying to pin herself onto me. When I was younger, I didn’t really think much of it because obviously I was kid, but now that I’m older it just feels real uncomfortable and weird to me.

I wanna make it clear to y’all that I don’t want hate my mom. I tell her I love her, hug her normally, spend time with her, whenever I can. But over the past couple years, this issue has become an almost everyday thing, especially whenever my older brother (21M) is away at college. She’s randomly come into my room or come up to me when I’m alone n start these really intense hugs where she’s practically laying on top of me. I’ve very obviously shown that I’m uncomfortable with it too. I tense up, pull away, tell her to stop sometimes, etc. But if I do anything other than fully accept it, she genuinely gets upset. If I pull away or don’t hug her back enough, she’ll storm off, say ion love her, refuse to talk to me for the rest of the day, n give me the evil eye ‘cross the house. Then the next day comes around n it’s like nothin ever happened… n the cycle repeats. She’s even done this while I was on FaceTime with my now ex- girlfriend, couple weeks ago, which was extremely embarrassing.

I’ve let a couple things slide, but today is what really pushed me over the edge.

I was on the couch working out with my glasses on when she came over n started hugging me super tightly to the point where my glasses were getting crushed into my face. I lightly pushed/nudged her away n told her she was about to break them. She immediately got offended n ran off to her room.
I followed her afterward because I was genuinely confused n tried explaining that I was only trying to stop my glasses from breaking, but she told me my attitude “sucks” n told me to get away from her. Then she locked herself in the bathroom for like an hour. I want to reiterate that my mom is 52 years old. I talked to my dad about it afterward hoping he’d understand, but he basically just told me to “let her do her thing” because she’s my mom and I shouldn’t “reject” her. That honestly made me feel even worse. Later my dad told me I should apologize just to smooth things over, so I did it. When I went into her room, she was hiding under the blankets n wouldn’t even look at me. I apologized the best I could n explained again that I wasn’t trying to hurt her, I was just trying to save my glasses from getting bent.. n she just told me fuck you

Then she started saying I shoved her so hard that I “knocked the air out of her,” which is complete bullshit n she was steady calling me “disrespectful” and kept cutting me off while I was trying to sort things out. After like a minute of trying to talk she just told me to get out her room which I guess is an effective way to end an argument
I consulted my dad about what happened and as always he was absolutely no help. After a while I just walked off ‘cause I was just wasting my time with him as he tried to find a way to defend my mom. Love that man to death but I could tell he wasn’t trying to hear out anything I was saying

I don’t know how I can try to reamend my relationship with my mom after today. Everytime this pouncing shit happens, there’s always been some sort of problem, and I feel like I’m in a position where I can’t do much about it besides thug it out. Not to mention, she’s steady trying to manipulate me whenever she can into making me think that I’m the bad guy in all the arguments we have. Sometimes it genuinely gets to my head, and I believe sometimes that I’m a bad son and that I’m nothing but disrespectful and a burden to the family. I’n forced by both of my parents to apologize to her because she thinks that she’s the always one that’s right, and honestly, maybe she is n I’m just too young/naive to understand her perspective

I been thinking about taking her out to go talk about our relationship and ending this weird bullshit once and for all by telling her how I actually feel, but I have a strong feeling like that’ll only make things worse between us

I genuinely don’t know how to feel and I need yalls perspective to wrap my head around this