I saw my ex kiss her guy best friend and I have been crying every night. I don't know what to feel.
Me (18) and my ex gf (18) started dating in our sophomore to junior year summer and we dated for a year, broke up, got back together 4 months later, broke up again after 6 months, and then got back together again for a month, a year and seven months total. We both loved each other a lot and we planned our future and everything. The biggest thing that kept us together was our understanding of each other. I'm not going to say her problems but I have bipolar and anxiety problems which developed from bullying from K-8 and lack of support throughout my life. So when I dated her, she knew all about my problems and how much I am afraid of being alone and failing.
The main reason we broke up the first two times was because we both were stressed and tired from our work. I was in marching band and practicing everyday, kind of like whiplash, and she was trying to figure out her career. Everyday when things would get rough, we would be there for each other. This wasn't something light or unserious, I loved this girl and I wanted to marry her. I'm even tearing up writing this.
When we broke up the second time, I tried talking to other people but I quickly stopped and focused on my self. I started going to gym, became really good at music, and got into a track of stability. However, the biggest problem for me was my mental health. I have been slowly losing my touch with reality and have struggled with mental health problems and disorders. I have been getting help and will hopefully resume therapy soon. Please seek help and reach out to someone if you ever feel hopeless. ❤️
The third time we broke up, I broke it off with her because she verbally told me she didn't love me anymore but still cared about me. I lost everything at that point. I cut her off, cut off some of our mutual friends, and overall broke down. The idea of losing the girl of my dreams really messed me up and only worsened my symptoms.
Fast-forward to about 2 days ago, its the last the day of highschool and I'm walking alone to my car. As im driving away, I see her and her guy best friend, let's call him Jake. Jake was a stereotypical Asian dude except he was fit and my ex gf would always tell me not to worry about him and that he would only be her friend. Atp, I knew they were dating from some people in my school and as I understood, they started dating only a month after she broke it off with me a third time. As I pull out of my parking spot, I see my ex gf turn around to him, grab his face, and kiss him aggressively. The same way she would do to me. I instantly drove to an empty parking lot and started crying alone.
I guess my big questions for this subreddit are:
Is it okay to still feel pain seeing that?
How does one heal from a relationship, not things to do but more fundamentally?
Will it get easier to handle pain like that if I find someone else to love?
Are there any tips or tricks for handling the withdrawals from relationships and exes?