Hi everyone, I’m feeling a little out of my depth and would really appreciate your perspective.
I think I’m developing feelings for my best friend, and this is the first time I’ve ever felt this way about a woman.
We’ve known each other for over 15 years—we met on a swim team and were very close in middle and high school. We used to write each other emotional letters and leave them in each other’s swim bags. At the time, I didn’t question it, but looking back now, they feel pretty intense.
We lost touch after high school (no falling out), but she moved back recently and reached out to me this summer. Since then, we’ve been talking consistently (she’s not much of a texter, but sends messages in bursts every 24-48 hours).
We recently exchanged letters again, and in hers she called me her “best friend,” which caught me off guard given the time apart—but also meant a lot.
There have been a few moments that felt different to me—she surprised me with a sweatshirt, and when we hugged, she stroked my back and lingered. It felt more intimate than I’m used to with friends, but I don’t know if that’s just me seeing things differently now that my feelings are involved.
She also asked me how I feel about having kids, which made me wonder if she was thinking about long-term compatibility, but I might be projecting.
I know she’s single and focusing on herself right now, but I don’t know her dating history or if she’s ever been interested in women.
I guess I’m trying to figure out two things:
- Does any of this sound like it could be mutual?
- How do you navigate something like this without losing the friendship—especially when you’re still figuring out your own feelings?
Any insight (especially from people who’ve been in a similar position) would really mean a lot.