AITAH for calling out my in-laws when they want to bypass me as a parent - advice
Hello,
Here is the TL;DR
15y ago my current husband asked me to live with him and his parents and grandfather as they were moving into a huge home. I found it weird in regards to some behaviors- his dad was asking for “rent/expense” money for the 2 of us, they insisted on washing my clothes, MIL was main one doing the cooking - as an orphan from 23y old I began to project / want their parental approval of me as a person.
Because I lived in a gaslighting environment I didn’t recognize/ stand up or leave their home when I saw they didn’t say HB to me (but gave a party to their dog) or ask me if I am ok etc. MIL even told me that I should look nicer and try to be beautiful like her and when I opted for a blue manicure she stated that seeing me makes her have hepatitis / out of grossness….
When we moved out because I put an ultimatum out for my husband prior to our wedding them or me, at each visit to their home FIL was asking my husband if he is ok and has anything at all to eat (referring I assume to his mum’s food) and MIL doesn’t even drink water at our place (in the last 7y visiting us)
We tried to have a baby and when all 3 FIV failed we were devastated… when the last one proven unsuccessful MIL stated that I should only let her know when I do succeed.
Now I have a 3m old and while pregnant (trombophilia/ gestational diabetes/ risk pf premature delivery) I avoided any visits from them.
Given this (assumption) in the first weeks after delivery we ordered take out and they were only texting send us pics and not reaching out w/ food etc or to ask how we were or specifically ask me how I was … - Context: MIL used to invite ppl over for multiple course meals just to show off. Also during Xmas while pregnant and also with bronchitis they send a pack of food for their son and saying they don’t have anything diabetes friendly for me.
At 2.5m we started receiving soup/ meat etc. on 3 occasions- MIL asked my husband to come downstairs and mentioned she cooked for me.
Now at 3m old my husband was initially told they have a surprise for the 3 of us - me, husband and baby and that they prepared a toyroom / nursery for my child when he visits to stay there.
AITAH for considering this courting my son and bypassing me as a mother just for them to look instagram pretty as grandparents.