u/Honest-Dog3033

A week ago, my 19m old daughter rolled off the couch and hit the back of her head while my husband was away. She threw up afterwards so I called the on call nurse at her pediatrician who told me to take her to the ER immediately. We went to the ER and were told she had a concussion and had her watched for 4hrs. She was acting fine by the time we left and I followed up with her pediatrician on day 2 to ensure we were in the clear. She ended up being fine, not even a bump on the head. I called my husband right as we were heading to the ER and kept him posted as much as possible while we were at the hospital. The next morning when we spoke, he was understandably upset and scared, but also was so hard on me for “letting” this happen. He told me this would’ve never happened on his watch. I was at my parents when this happened, and it was not because no one was watching her. She was playing in between my dad and I, jumped towards my dad, landed face first on the couch, then rolled off the couch onto the back of her head. We both reached for her and unfortunately it all just happened so quickly that neither of us caught her in time. Since that happened a week ago, I have not been myself. I can’t stop beating myself up and thinking I am the worst mother in the world. I feel like I don’t deserve this amazing child and that I have failed her. I talked my therapist twice this week and it did help a little, but I can’t stop replaying the whole thing over in my head and am having nightmares about it. I may be paranoid but I’m convinced my husband blames me and hates me. He got home last night and comforted me as I cried myself to sleep again but I still cant shake this feeling that I am just an awful mom. Hoping for some advice or any similar stories to help me feel less alone.