AITAH-FILs gf.
Am I the asshole for being upset with my husband for allowing his MARRIED father to bring his girlfriend to my house?
My father in law is a married man. We will call him, Bill. Bill has been married to Sue for several years, 15+ years, at least. Sue is my husband's stepmother, and the only grandmother my children have ever known. His biological mother passed away in 2013, and my children are too young to remember her. They are now 15, 14, 12, and 10. Sue has some medical issues that cause short term memory loss, and constant repetition of conversation day in and day out. While it has been made known that these issues are self induced from prior drug use, I don't feel like that excuses any of the behavior from my FIL that we are currently experiencing.
About 2 months ago, my SIL-Sarah, (husband's brother's wife) reached out to me asking if I knew about Bills girlfriend. I knew nothing about the situation. While we had suspected that he was seeing someone, I didn't pry and didn't mention it to my husband for the simple fact that I knew it would start an argument. I also didn't want to mention it, assuming he knew nothing about it as well. It was something I knew he wouldn't support. For over a week, my SIL had updates for me regarding Lisa, and her past. What didn't seem to be a good situation from the beginning only continued to spiral with each day. The girlfriend, we'll call her Lisa, didn't have a car-no details on why, I have my suspicions, but those were never confirmed. Bill bought Lisa a car. Not brand new, but definitely newer. She had the car less than a week, maybe no more than 2 days...and she wrecks, with Bill following behind her in his own vehicle. He claims she hydroplaned. Once law enforcement arrives to the scene, a license check is performed and Lisa is wanted. To shorten this shit show story, she is arrested on charges from last summer, DUID, etc. Bill bails her out, pays for her attorney, AND then moves her in his camper at the bottom of his driveway--with his wife in the house at the top of the driveway. My mind is blown. I find out in the midst of this that my husband knew about Lisa, he wasn't aware of the details of the accident or her being arrested, but knew that his dad was seeing her. We had an argument about it, and just like always he says he didn't tell me because he knew I wouldn't be ok with it, and that I never have anything good to say about his family.
Last night my oldest daughter and I attended a birthday celebration for one of her close friends. While at the party I received a notification that someone was in my driveway. Thinking nothing of it I cleared the notification and carried on with my chat at the party. The notifications continued. I finally looked at security cameras in my back yard and noticed that my FILs truck was there. My 13 year old calls me and says "Papaw is here, and he brought his girlfriend." I could sense through the phone that she was confused and bothered by the entire situation. I shouldn't be hearing this information from my daughter-however my husband never mentions it. I get home from the party and my father in law leaves within 10 minutes. They never came inside, and my younger two children didn't go outside because they didn't want to speak to this woman. Once my husband came inside, I mention his dad bringing Lisa, and he just rolls his eyes, like he has no idea what his dad's issue is. Then I tell him that I think the kids are upset by it, and I don't think it's a good idea for Lisa to be back at our house. He flips out, tells me that he is telling his dad not to visit and that he needs to come get all of his things from our house-we are currently using his dozer to clear a spot on our land. I tell my husband that I have no issue with my FIL visiting, however I am not ok with him bringing his girlfriend, while he is very much still married, and his wife is at home. AITAH for mentioning this and speaking my opinion on it? What example is this setting for our own children?