u/Honest-Guest1431

I’m curious-I (F) recently moved in with my partner (M), and I’m finding it extremely difficult to balance what I need for my nervous system to not constantly be in fight/flight/freeze, and what he wants/needs from me in our relationship. How do other people manage it when there’s such a big discrepancy between capacities? I’m unable to work due to my symptoms, so I’m already contributing much less financially, and I feel selfish for setting boundaries (ie going to bed earlier than him when there’s still work to do; the amount of functioning I can actually do each day (including cooking/errands) compared to how much he does etc), but he has so much more capacity than I do, and I simply can’t keep up. I’m so burnt out, I can’t stop crying at least once/day and I’m constantly dissociated and not myself or showing up how I want to because I’m so burnt out 😩. This is the first time I’ve ever lived with a man because of how triggering it is to my trauma to be living with a man; he’s a great guy, and I really want this to work in a way where the cost isn’t so unsustainably intense for me, but also still be able to be an active and equal participant in the relationship. Any advice?