My gf and I were in vegas this past weekend. We brought our dog with us who sheds a ton, which is why I took my 2003 toyota corolla car instead of the much nicer car that we have. For context, she had just come back from being on set (she is trying to become an actor) and had a ton of fun the week prior. I gave her the option of whether or not she wanted to tag along for Vegas. I was planning on going regardless, because I was attending a video game tournament this past weekend over there. I know she isn't really a big fan of video games let alone just watching me compete against other players but she still decided to come. A couple of things came up this past weekend that made me really re-evaluate or compatibility. The first was when we bumped into our friends in vegas randomly. We decided to go out, grab a drink together and catch up. When we got to the parking lot of our destination, she didn't want to be seen in the toyota because in her mind, people will automatically group you and treat you a certain way based off of the car you drive. I understand what she's trying to say especially because she is someone who is extremely ambitious and goal driven. But personally, I could be making millions of dollars and still be okay with being seen with the toyota. She cares a lot of what people think about her and the things she has and I could care less about that. Second thing, was the fact that I paid for this entire trip (travel, food, hotel, etc) which i couldn't have done before in the past and on the drive back home, she brings up how shes been waiting such a long time for me to fix my financial situation and basically hinting that I'm not where she expected me to be financially. To give some context, she was making a lot more money before we started dating and was used to a different lifestyle. I thought that she was being extremely ungrateful considering that I just paid for everything and although she didn't necessarily want to be there in the first place, to at least see the progression im making in supporting the both of us. The house that I got us was nice, but nothing extravagant and that seemed to have bothered her a bit. I simply just enjoy the time im spending with her regardless of the things we do but it seems like I have to provide a certain experience or lifestyle for her to be happy. Additionally, it also felt that she was on such a high from being on set the past week that now she is almost taking her lack of dopamine/comedown/whatever you want to call it, on me. The third thing was our plan to move out of our current house. We currently live with housemates and that has caused a lot of issues for us. She wants to move to a place that cost a lot more but would give her a better peace of mind and just be overall happier waking up in that home (we would split this payment monthly) I am a bit more conservative and think we should move to a more affordable place (I would pay for most if not all of this monthly), stack our money up and then get the nice place so that we can at least invest our money right now in other areas that could make us more money. Sorry if this was a lot, so much has happened this past weekend and i just need another perspective on this whole situation.
u/Honest_Composer_5860
i 28M have been dating my gf 26F for over 3 years now. When we first started dating, there were a lot of things that we didn’t see eye to eye on. One of them was her having OF. Because she was making a lot of money, she was used to a particular lifestyle. I tried my best to make peace with this because I care for her and loved her deeply. A year us dating she ended up deleting it. Part of the reason was for me, but also largely due to the fact that she’s trying to be a big-time actress and wants to remove that particular connotation from herself. There has been many times where we’ve almost broken up and she would always resort to saying things like “i wasted x amount of years,” “ I should have never dated in my 20s,” “I gave up everything for you,”etc. It just makes me feel like shes purposely making me feel guilty even though we both agreed to be in this relationship and whatever comes with it. I know that in these moments she’s very emotional and probably not saying these things very rationally but it always does suck to hear. I have been working very hard for the past two years trying to put myself in a better place financially to be able to provide her with a very similar lifestyle, but I also want to enjoy life and not be working all the time. We constantly have discussion about how its been “x” amount of time and im still not able to meet a certain standard. For context, im running 2 businesses and she is always telling me to listen to her and focus on business 1 more than business 2. Only thing is, business 2 generates a lot more staple cash flow so that I can invest into the business 1. Slowly, my monthly revenue has been in conceive, but still doesn’t feel like it’s meeting up to her expectations. I want to provide for her and give her the lifestyle that she wants, but I hate feeling this pressure and ultimately how she says these things during very emotional moments. I don’t by any means want to make her sound like a villain. She is a great partner and does so many things that help me in my life. Any advice is appreciated and just being able to hear from another perspective.