Fear of getting sick again.
Hey all. Long time reader, first time poster. I just want to say first and foremost this sub has been a great outlet when i'm feeling isolated. Thank you all for sharing your stories/advice.
My situation:
I was a five year alcoholic, and my habit landed me in the hospital for ten days with acute pancreatitis almost a year ago. I don't need to explain how traumatic it was, I'm sure everyone knows.
I decided to commit to healthy changes. Never drank again after the hospital, started working out and eating better, and just recently quit vaping.
Although, after being pretty much symptom free, I think I went a little too hard on my system with food. I'd eat poorly despite it making me semi uncomfortable, because I thought it was manageable/part of recovery (stupid, I know). I'm starting to have consistent symptoms again. Feeling uncomfortably full after eating, and having fatty stools. I have blood work scheduled tomorrow, and a follow up with my doctor a week from now. I'm assuming that I'll probably have to be put on digestive enzymes or something of the sort.
I'm just flat out terrified. I thought I had beaten this and the idea of getting sick again has been paralyzing me. I also had to care for my father who had pancreatic cancer, and died when I was 20. Needless to say, I have a fear of ending up like him as well.
Even writing this I feel the tears coming. Just went to the store and bought a bunch of healthy, low fat foods. It all seems so overwhelming to cook, and break up into small meals to fit in throughout my busy day.
I know people have it worse than me, and I'm sorry if this seems silly, but I'm just petrified. My girlfriend wants to go out for dinner for our anniversary, and I feel like I can't. I feel like I'm just anticipating the worst as I wait for my doctors visit. I'm just flat out scared.