(F24)I lied to my boyfriend and now I cant stop thinking about it.
I need some honest opinions because my anxiety is through the roof right now.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and honestly, he is the greenest flag I've ever met. He has never raised his voice at me, never disrespected me, and has always been incredibly patient and supportive. He's the person I go to for everything. He's my biggest supporter, my personal Google, ChatGPT, savings advisor, problem solver, and safe place all rolled into one. There have been many times when he has supported me even more than my own family.
Recently, I went to an office party. Before the party, he had asked me not to drink. I ended up drinking more than I told him I did (2 drinks and 2 vodka shots). When he asked, I lied because I was scared of his reaction. Later, the truth came out through a friend, and instead of admitting everything immediately, I told a few more lies before finally coming clean.
For context, despite drinking, I was completely in control. I didn't flirt with anyone, didn't cheat, didn't do anything inappropriate. I simply danced, enjoyed with my friends, and came home safely.
The real issue isn't the drinking. The real issue is that I lied repeatedly, and now the person who trusted me the most is struggling to trust me.
He's still talking to me and even told me he loves me, but I can tell he's hurt. I feel incredibly guilty because I genuinely love this man and never wanted to hurt him.
For those who have been in similar situations:
Can trust come back after repeated lies if the person is truly remorseful?
If you were in my boyfriend's position, how would you feel?
*What would it take for you to trust your partner again?
Please be brutally honest. I can handle it.