My mom keeps taunting me for everything.
Hi guys,
I am 26F and from a South Asian country. I have had a decent relationship with my parents as in I had been an obedient teenager up-till 18 and then I moved out to college for 5 years. Main reason i chose to move out or chose a college where I would need to stay away from home is because of the toxic environment at my place. My parents dont really get along and moreover my mother has this weird habit of comparing me to my father and his side of relatives everytime I did the slightest of mistake or tried to defend myself against something she said to me.
Now these fights were very rampant during covid. But after covid thankfully I got a job and again stayed away from my home.
I came back for a long holiday recently. I thought it would be a good time but no the same fights still happen between my maa and my paa but my father disengages real quick nowadays and just doesn’t respond. I on the other hand have lost the ability to stay calm.
She basically scrutinises everything I do, for ex - i wore a top, she looked up and down and in a very condescending way told me this is too short your back will be bare when you sit (mind you i dress very modestly because my parents are pretty conservative, so no shorts, no dresses and I avoid them when at home). It irked me and I told her I am grown up enough to know that and i have worn it around earlier as well and that wont be the case. The next day she gave me the task to slice cucumbers. It was but rotten from one side so i had to take that part out and then slice it. Cut two she sits and again passes a condescending comment on who slices cucumbers like that. Again I countered.
The final straw was when we were supposed to go out. She will usually delay the departure doing her stupid lil chores and I was okay with it but then I told her lemme know when you get ready because then I will go change as well. As simple as that, she appears out of nowhere fully dressed and then starts taunting me saying I am going out you do whatever you wanna do. I completely lost it. Maybe i shouldn’t have raised my voice but I told her i had asked her very clearly to let me know when she is ready since I wouldnt have taken much to time to get dressed. Oh and then she stared saying shit like you hate me and all this hatred you have for me is coming out and I am scared you will hit me some day (like physically).
It breaks my heart to hear all that.
I have kept my distance ever since. I am about to go back in two days. I am still stuck in the dilemma of whether i should go try to apologise to her and make amends or should I stand my ground.
Any opinions are much appreciated.