Should I tell my parents why I don’t want to see my cousin?
I (25M) am in a bit of a dilemma. My cousin (34F) who is in prison has recently added me to her visitation list and my parents would like me to visit her.
When I was around the age of 4 my cousin who was 13 at the time molested me a handful of times. I didn’t really understand that what she had done to me was wrong until middle school, and at that point I felt like there was no point for me to report her. I haven’t told anyone what happened to me outside of a close friend and therapists over the years.
Now at 25 I still have my reasons for not wanting to tell them. I found out years ago that my cousin had been sexually abused when she was a child. I understand this doesn’t change what happened to me but it does make me empathize more with her as she was a victim herself. On top of that, I do not want to hurt my family by telling them what happened. My cousin’s mom (my aunt) passed away while she was in prison so she really has nobody in her corner outside of my mother and grandma. I feel like if I tell them it will crush them and I do not want that to happen. I also question if they would believe me at all or if they would still try to make me build a relationship with her. I do not care if she stays in their lives but I do not want her in mine.
So I’m trying to find a way to get out of going without telling my family. I feel like if I tell them I don’t want to see her without giving them the context they will react very negatively. I might be able to say I have other things going on at the time but that will only delay the inevitable. Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice you have for me.