Please help, I don't know how to handle stress and anxiety
I don't even know what to type, I'm just overwhelmed all the time, it takes so incredibly little for me to get overwhelmed with anxiety/stress. Anything unexpected, any inconvenience, any success/failure, any responsibility, anyone relying or expecting something of me, anything I start to perceive as losing control over, no matter what I'm dealing with just always goes to 100 and on edge, and I get angry/anxious/depressed just as a constant, I can't make decisions as I need to or focus as I need to, or I spend all my energy on the limited scope of what I can handle and then I'm checked out.
None of this is even new, you'd think I would've learned or built up a tolerance/got used to things, but I just sure haven't. I'm technically doing well, I got a nice job/financials/degree, but I still feel like everything just going to get ripped out of my hands at any moment. I just so badly want stability, to actually feel safe and overall content, to actually feel confident in my value, to just let go of stupid crap, but it just seems impossible to ever actually feel that. I really just can't comprehend actually being content with being alive or remember a period I ever was.
I've read about all this so much to learn about anxiety/depression/suicidal ideation/etc, tried so many ways to address it whether it was meditation/mindfulness/breathing, exercise, hobbies, limit caffeine, therapy couple times, fake it till make it, keep going out of comfort zone, self help videos/books, journaling, stoicism, self-inquiry, buddhism, whatever. Some helps for a time, but it just feels like there just a default mode in my brain that I always gravitate back to, and just repeat the same stuff over an over an over. I know I should probably just go back to therapy do some CBT or whatever, try things harder till it works, or get medication, but I've technically balanced on functional and I don't want to break my ability to do that and end up just making everything far worse or I just don't contribute anything to things like therapy and end up sitting there wasting time.
Idk what I'm saying, I don't know what I'm doing. I've technically managed this for so long, but at some point I am going to crash and burn, I'm just slowly slipping and eventually I'll reach some threshold that I can just never climb back up from.