I think I´m experiencing limerence and need advice.
Okay so I apologise if this is not relevant, but I think I am experiencing limerence. For context, I started dating someone about 13 months ago, 2 1/2 months before I was due to move back to my home country. They were lovely and I enjoyed being around them, so despite the looming ´deadline´ etc, we both decided to date anyway, and break up when I left (11 months ago). Anyway, I think we both fell pretty hard. I was the first person they´d ever dated and on my side, this was the first time I think I´ve experienced a healthy romantic dynamic, or been with anyone who showed me how easy it was to love me. Even though we only spent a brief time together, we both agreed it meant a lot to us.
Fast forward to now. Its been almost a year later and I still think about them. Further context, I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), so I do take longer than the average person to get over people, and I replay things in my head for ages. But its to a point where I feel like I´m pathetic. He´s surely moved on, and I should have too. I have periods where I don´t think about it too much (I´m a pretty busy person which helps), but this past week he keeps showing up in my dreams and it kind of messes me up the next day. I get very vivid dreams so it feels like I am genuinely having a conversation with them, and it brings up emotions when I wake up. We don´t have any contact and I haven´t spoken to or had them on any socials for 6 months, but I feel like small things keep reminding me of them. For example, their football team keeps showing up on my Tiktok (which is odd as we´re from different countries nd they´re not really well known in my country, and I´m not into football so I don´t engage in this kind of content). Even though it´s been long enough now, I still get upset if I think too much about the fact that I finally found someone I actually liked and clicked with, only to have to break up with them 3 months later.
In essence, the rumination has been bothering me for a while, and I am getting ever more frustrating knowing its been nearly a year since we stopped dating. It feels unhealthy and I´m also anxious it could be obsessive, even if I don´t want to be. I feel like we did the right things - no contact, remove each other off socials, I gave myself a period to be sad and feel my feelings initially instead of trying to push them all down - but a year later and I still feel upset. I´m at a loss, I feel so alone in this problem because my friends don´t really care and I fear he´s likely moved on and doesn´t miss me. I would really welcome any advice on how to start to move past this. Thank you !