u/Honey_Teabag

Well for the starters, I noticed a long time ago that my mom is visibly happier when I'm miserable. Like she thrives on me being sad, especially if I'm having a good day and she is not, she has to ruin it by any means possible and suddenly she is so happy.

Or when I was a kid I had to learn how to walk silently because she said she is going to beat me up because I'm walking too loud, to this day I cannot walk with any noise without doing it on purpose.

I also recently started doing much better because of my new therapy, I started working out, cooking and so on. I'm excellent an cook, and she got really upset over that and kinda is not allowing me anymore to cook.

I also can't clean my own room because once I did it really good and she got very mad and almost ruined my room.

I literally can't do anything that she thinks she is good at or do better then her in general. I lost weight finally and she is struggling with it for years so now she has to buy me so much junk food and fat shame me every day???

I also have started to hide my romantic relationships because she would be very jealous over them, she would tell me I would fuck it up, that they would leave me because I'm unbearable and so on.

Like why the hell is she acting like I'm her biggest enemy? What does she even gain from ts genuinely

Last year during the summer. I had a boyfriend that my mom quite liked. She always acts so weird when she likes my partners it's horrible. I'm also transgender so when I date men she is saying that I can't date gay guys because I wouldn't satisfy them. But during 3 months of dating that guy he started to go on "family" trips with me and my parents because they insisted, during one of those trip on the end of summer break we went to the beach countryside. We had separate rooms, me and my boyfriend and my parents. My boyfriend pressured me to drink even tho I said to him I was trying to quit because my problems with alcohol are getting ridiculous. Well he loved to make me drunk so he could "have my way with me" because I wasn't really touchy. When I woke up the next day I noticed that I was raped. I was beyond horrified, I didn't tell my parents because I was scared of their reaction. I was in such mental state that my best friend had to sleep in my bed for 4 months after that (I live with my parents and they have never asked me once if I was okay).

Fast-forward to march 2026. I got to know from my knew therapist that they said to her in December when I first started meeting with her, as in example of my problems they said that I was most likely raped during summer by my boyfriend but they didn't wanted to assume because I would be "difficult".

The betrayal I felt has hit me more then anything, since I learned that information I've become even more bitter and resentful then I was. I don't even know how to cope with living under the same roof..

I almost killed myself and they felt that confronting me and comforting would make me act difficult?

I never felt more angry in my life and every time I remember that they chose to ignore me the most during that period of my life makes me even more mad.

I don't even know how they came to the conclusion that it's a good idea to just pretend that it never had happened.

Are they just heartless? Or am I just not understanding enough..

EDIT:

I also failed to mention that even tho my mom knew I was raped she was guilt tripping me that I broke up with that man, saying what nice of a guy he was and that I always fuck up every single good thing in my life and called me a whore.