OMG the Sunday breakfast battle!
My 88 year old husband’s lack of short term memory is a constant battle every Sunday morning. If I’m cooking, I can generally get him to get his coffee and juice and sit down to be out of my way as I start breakfast. If we are going downstairs for brunch (we live in independent living in a Continuing Care Retirement Community) at 11:30, generally I can manage him because he sleeps until at least 10am and by the time he has juice, coffee and half a banana it is time to go downstairs. But on days like today when he wakes up early I have to watch him like a hawk that he doesn’t pour himself a huge bowl of cereal. He can’t ever do breakfast and then lunch, simply doesn’t have the stomach capacity or brain width to have both meals.
Today we are driving to my 91 year old mother’s house for Mother’s Day lunch. It happened to be an early rise day for my husband. I have told him several times today is coffee-juice-fruit plate light meal, lunch is at noon. Why? Where are we going? It doesn’t stick. He got his beverages, I set him down with his fruit, and on his own (!) he filled his pill container for the week (I’ll double check it later). Thought we were good. Suddenly I realize he’s back in the refrigerator and that subconsciously I had heard spoon sized Shredded Wheat hit a bowl. No! Put the milk away and put the cereal back in the box.
About a month ago I totally lost it yelling at him over the Sunday cereal, then dissolved in tears telling him it wasn’t his fault, it was my fault for letting my guard down.
Worst part of the day is yet to come. Will he get in the passenger seat or do I have to listen to “WHO PUT YOU IN CHARGE OF DRIVING?” He had a meltdown at Christmas but relented, but he didn’t go to my mother’s birthday lunch (I went alone) or Easter (we ate here). The fact that it was also my sister’s birthday this week and I’m bringing her a gift too might tip the scales toward both of us going. Otherwise I’ll send him back upstairs, and I know he won’t fix himself that bowl of cereal he was determined to have. He’ll have a glass of wine and maybe read the paper in the clubhouse before going back to bed.
He’s going to be getting a love letter from the DMV shortly. They saw fit to renew his license last month (obviously they didn’t speak with him and just processed him through). But he had a six month cognitive test here at the CCRC last week at my request (scored 21 again), and I asked them to report him. Wanted to give myself and our wonderful doctor plausible deniability so we can look him in the eye and say we didn’t turn him in. He actually still drives just as well as he ever did, but asks 3-4 times on a ten minute trip to Trader Joe’s “where are we going?”