Roommates Boyfriend Like a Third Roommate
So I moved into an apartment with one of my friends. At the time her boyfriend had an apartment and they would split time in between her old place and his place. Right after we signed the lease I was told he would be moving further away as well and that it only made sense for him to come over here.
My roommate works from home and he takes classes online so they can both be in the apartment constantly without external obligations.
I spoke to my roommate early on about expectations with guests around how many times a week they can be over and also about noise issues because our walls seem to be stupidly thin. She didn’t take it well but did agree on 2-3 days max. She warned me her boyfriend was sensitive and if I had any issues to talk to her first… she later told me that he was offended about my noise complaints.
Things have been just OKAY for the past few months. I do find myself still irritated by the noise and other issues but I’ve sucked it up and gave it time to see if things would play out naturally. They have not.
Her boyfriend now comes over every other night and spends the night three days a week but then stays the entire day the next day. He will leave around 5pm after spending the night and then come over the next day and repeat. So all in all he is here 6 out of 7 days a week but she sees no issues and says it fits within the 2-3 days a week because he only comes over around 6-9pm on the nights he spends the night.
On top of this he treats the apartment as if it were his own. He leaves his belongings thrown about the common spaces, takes water out of the britta without ever refilling it (often leaving it empty), takes up the entire kitchen while cooking and doesn’t wipe down countertops, any hand washed dishes have residue or food left on them, he leaves dishes around the house and empty cans, full chips and crumbs on the floor and tables.
I woke up to him asleep on the couch alone with all the lights on and tv on at 3 in the morning.
I have also come home from work to find him cooking in his underwear blasting music with my roommate nowhere in site.
I am exhausted because I either clean up after this man or I leave it and have to live with filth in my own apartment. He pays no rent and acts like he lives here. I’m at my snapping point but value my friendship and would like to preserve it. It’s so hard given they are both very sensitive people, but at the same time I feel like I’m being taken advantage of.
I am not sure if I am being picky? Or if this is beyond what a roommates boyfriend (guest who doesn’t pay rent) should be doing.