future pressure
I’m just so pissed because nung mga times na I need guidance from my parents to talk about my future, they don’t take it seriously. I was so anxious and stressed that my brain can barely rest of thinking about it — to proceed to med school or work. One time, i had a chance to talk to my mother, gusto ko ng opinion or idea niya about it and she just cut me off na parang hindi importante to. I feel so depressed about my future. I talked to her because i want a clarification, i want a straight and clear decision. Before, she really wanted me to go so i review and take the NMAT. Pero after that, i sensed that ayaw na nya kasi magastos and such (and other private and personal reasons).
what frustrates me is when i already prepared myself doon pa sya magbabago, that’s the reason i asked nang mas maaga because i want to prepare myself emotionally and mentally. When she decided before na magwo-work na lang ako, i should set to my mind to let go the idea of being a doctor or even enrolling to med school, it’s like i have to accept it nang mas early. I can accept any choices perooo the fact na im not mentally stable and had to ask her, and she just ignore me???? That hurts me and frustrates me.