u/HoosierDaddy-420

The Cream Select - Certified Cultivators https://www.certifiedcultivators.com/flower/p/the-cream

Strain: Cookies & Cream x (Golden Goat x (Chem Dawg x (Sour Diesel x OG Kush)))
CATEGORY: Hybrid

COA water - Unknown (wtf Certified, do better)

TOTAL THC 29.4% / d9 THC 0.37% / THCA 33.1%

PRIMARY TERPENES: , Myrcene 1.24%, a-Pinene 1.03%, Limonene 0.548%, b-Pinene 0.433%

TOTAL LABEL TERPENES 3.25%

TOTAL PINE TERPS: 1.46% 😮 (record high for me)

Harvest 11MAY2026

Bought 01JUL2026

Actual Contents Weight: 14.20g (love the 420!) 😂

COA LINK: None Provided (come on Certified, do better!)

DEAL: There are plenty of reviews on Certified The Cream, time for another. I had many of my Reddit bros tell me to get this for the pine and - because it's just so good. For months I looked but only found it in tiny-ass, over-priced, baby jars. As I recall, they were asking equivalent to $300-400/oz for The Cream. Homie ain't playing that shit, I don't care how good it is. I'll wait it out.

Well, yesterday while browsing Zips Glenway, there it was, FINALLY available - a half ozzy of the The Cream! It was $105 with the fake Zips 30% off ($150/half retail) it was $124/half OTD. WOOT! This is actually reasonable (not $400+/oz) and only a little above my cheap-ass threshold of $200/oz OTD. With tax this took it over my $200/oz max at $246/oz OTD.

They got me, too many folks raving about this flower and the declaration of pine needs to be put to the test! I love PINE, it's my favorite terp by miles!!

ODOR: I could smell this shit in the sealed bags inside my car on the ride home. LOL

Ripped the bag, I could smell it immediately without breaking the inner seal. Cracked the zip, subtle yet powerful/gassy odor, stunk-up the area quickly. Getting light whiffs of that Pinene. This is stinky as shit, the terps are >3% so I expected that. I wish they had a QR to the COA so I could see the whole terp profile. This is bullshit. It should be Ohio law! I'd like to see the full list.

The cops will smell it from behind you in line at UDF. The odor is a little different and funky from your normal Ohio Limonene mids, that may throw off some weed-sniffing Nazi's a little, but they'll probably still give you the stink eye and rolled eyes. Keep safe distances if you don't want to get busted.

I could not believe it, like a dream for me. The second primary terp: a-Pinene 1.03%. That's the holy fucking grail terp for me! This is the first time I've seen it listed in second place on any Ohio flower. However, it's not that pungent, no Christmas tree here. 😥 The best description is spicy, mildly piney, milk cream, the name is fitting! I was praying for a fresh Christmas tree but got a bowl of spicy cream. The search for the ultimate Ohio pine weed continues....

HUGE props to Certified! The terps are very strong (and they better be at this price point)!

LOOK: This is my first Certified purchase, I'm excited after the hype. These are their "Select" nugs of The Cream. BINGO - TRICHROMES out the ass, sparkling like diamonds in a goat's ass! Great looking half, nice hand trim, see pics - that's the whole thing, all 14.20g. Nice, mostly 1-1.5" nugs, a couple were near 3" but very skinny at the top - still KILLER looking. I'd like bigger buds (like 1-3 cola halves) but it's fine upper-end bud for commercial weed, nice presentation!

Almost no garbage in the bag at all too, just what broke off during handling of the package and the unfortunate loss of some trics on the bag sides, less than 0.1g. The trics are so heavy I probably could have scraped together a keef bong hit from the droppings - love that "bonus hit". 😎

WOW! The crystallization of the buds is top-notch, 100% on par with Farkas. The first time I've given any Ohio commercial weed that accolade! AWESOME JOB CERTIFIED! I'm sorry it took so long to get here but I ain't paying insane $$$ for weed.

I checked with AI and it confirmed that Farkas rents out the Tric Fairy to Certified. Or maybe AI is wrong and Certified has the Tric Fairy's sister? We'll put that to the test with a few more stains in the future! The buds were extremely consistent in look, most flower has some outlier buds, not here, it all looks the same.

This is an attractive bag and a win in the looks department across the board. I see why they want $300-$400/oz. Too bad I can't smoke looks, it's a plus but I ain't smoking 'em so fuck that price. I really felt that way about Meigs Strawberry Guava, see my review.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OhioMJCommunity/comments/1qz3rjb/strawberry_guava_meigs/

NUGS: About as good as you can get in commercial cannabis. Great feel, slightly dry outside crust with a squishy, very moist interior. All of the buds were very nice, no MT, no bullshit, no Ohio-mids, rock nugs here. This is nice quality for commercial weed but the nugs could have been bigger. Decent assortment and above average for a half of Ohio commercial weed. BRAVO!

CURE/MOISTURE: No COA - BOOOOO!!! This weed feels like 12-14% moisture to me as a wild ass guess. It's not dry in the slightest and tends to rip apart into gooey balls of joy rather than break-up. The cure is moist AF, perfectly executed cannabis, crumble? - impossible with The Cream. If anything, it could dry a bit more! The hardest part is getting it off your fingers - it's sticky AF. Press a bud against a wall and it'll be there a year later.

This stuff is next level gooey! Possibly the gummiest, gooeyest flower I've seen in the Ohio program. I would NOT put this into a grinder, it's too wet and gooey, seems like you're hurting it by doing that - some flower is best enjoyed with minimal handling, this is one of those IMO. Crack off a chunk and apply copious amounts of flame. Besides, you'd need a pair of vice grips to even twist that grinder, it's that sticky!

TASTE: Interesting - no pine tree for sure but the pine is there. But it's way more subtle than I'm ultimately looking for. I'm searching for the flower that's like plucking a pine come right from Mother Nature, wrapping a paper around it and going to town with my Bic. I have not seen that ultra-pine weed in well over a decade, maybe two.

My first impression is this is very close in taste to some of the HQ Indiana BM weed I was smoking for decades. Brought back some memories! I miss that weed but Ohio weed is cheaper and easier to get, so that's how I roll these days. At least I found a substitute for a long lost flavor profile I love. It has an "old school" taste, HUGE plus!

My pallet first detected some pine on the inhale but it a bit diminished a bit on the exhale. Still - Houston, WE HAVE PINE. That said - Absolutely unique and delicious weed! This is what I'm paying for - the flavor is GREAT! It's very pleasant tasting with ZERO greenhouse/chlorophyll/fertilizer or other off tastes. Exceptionally clean tasting as I would expect at this price point. Just one day in and I love this strain for the flavor! WIN FOR CERTIFIED, very enjoyable smoke!

FIRST HITS SUMMARY: HARSH LEVEL 0.5, very smooth smoke, as smooth as most of the Farkas strains. That's on my 0-4 scale with 4 being like hemp rope and Farkas typically running a 0.0 to 1.5. Very easy to smoke, I smoked a bowl and barely coughed, easy on the lungs bonus points. A testament to careful growing and curing here!

One hit buzz weed, no problem for when you just want a tinge of a buzz. It's 30% THC, one or two will do you a lot of justice and allow you to be human still. Time for a bit more - ripped off the very tip of the nicest, longest bud and put it intact into my wood pipe.

I was standing-up on my first bowl hit and damn near fell over from the first hit headrush. All those trics and resin burning off was like taking a hit of fucking concentrate. Shit, had to sit down to finish my small bowl (5-6 hits by myself). ZING! This shit is a fucking SLEDGEHAMMER. It felt like Thor came down and smashed my cranium with a giant weed hammer. GOOD SHIT

UPDATE: Buzz is intense AF after smoking a couple g's by myself. Scrambles the brain, can making things like driving difficult. Don't plan on doing shit if you're smoking The Cream. NOT recommended for those with anxiety, tends to cause racing thoughts. I've always thought Pinene did that but this terp combo- fuck, sleeping is difficult cause you keep thinking up shit. lol The Myrcene/Pinene combo works powerfully on the brain lending to an intense mind buzz.

BOTTOM LINE: TOP OF THE OHIO MARKET COMMERCIAL WEED! 

It has all the attributes one would expect for $245/oz pot and then some. It looks good, it tastes good, smokes smooth and packs a monster, couch-locking buzz. This is a top-notch commercial product no doubt and better than most of the top commercial flower. KUDOS to Certified for an amazing strain and execution! All the folks raving about The Cream are justified and I'm on the bandwagon with them!

That said, like Klutch, I gotta bitch about the price. It's expensive AF! Farkas and Neighborgoods are hitting homeruns for under $200/oz. IMO, this strain beats many of those out, I'll give Certified that, but the best commercial Ohio weed should be consumer capped at $200/oz. There is just too much competition for them to fight it forever. Especially now that they can deduct business expenses.

Overall, a HOMERUN for Certified!  This is possibly the most potent Ohio commercial weed I've smoked. It'll knock you clean on your ass my friends. I will certainly buy this strain when the halves for $105 are around again! I'm glad I bought an ozzy, I had a feeling it'd be a hit and it didn't disappoint! Get it before it's gone or we're back to those baby-ass, ripoff jars. Top-notch product!

Check back later, I always update my reviews with fresh impressions as I smoke more! Keep on smoking and posting my friends! 😎

Apples & Bananas - Neighborgoods (CannaMed)

COA water - Unknown, no COA QR code given! (BS Cannamed!)

TOTAL THC 27.1%

TERPENES: Myrcene 2.152%, Ocimene 0.652, Pinene 0.395% (3.199% disclosed)

Total COA Terps: Unknown, no COA, a big KMA to Cannamed for that.

Harvest 16MAR2026

Bought 28APR2026

COA LINK: None, no QR code! Come on CannaMed, consumers want to know! ZONK!

DEAL: Pang recommended his top NG products to me awhile back. When I did some research, guess what? PINE as a top primary! HELL YES I'M IN!

Finally getting around to reviewing this. My stash was low and I didn't have time to drive to Middletown for the PROPER Neighborgoods deal, so I sucked it up and went to Beyond Hello with their outrageous pricing - but at least they had a huge selection. They had this "on sale" for 30% off, $140 retail - $42 = $98 + tax (~$115/half OTD). OUCH! It broke my $200/oz max threshold by $30! I could have got a cheap and and a gram of concentrate that price. 😟

SAME BITCH AS MY LAST REVIEW:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OhioMJCommunity/comments/1t1docz/gastro_pop_4_neighborgoods/

At Terrasanna NG flower is $125/oz + tax! The problem with them, their inventory SUCKS ASS. I've been watching for weeks and they haven't had shit, like 2 or 3 strains. Pang is the master of the Terra grabs because he lives next door but, for me, it's proven to be much more difficult to get the REAL price on Neighborgoods - I'm 45 min away. Homie doesn't like playing the Cincinnati NG price game - suck it overpriced dispos!

ODOR: Ripped the bag, I could smell it immediately without breaking the inner seal. Nice and stinky, a complex myrcene spice odor. Ahhhh, love this strain for LACK of Limonene. Not a fucking hint of the boring Ohio cheap weed terpene. If you're burnt on the same old, same old Limonene/Caryo bullshit, this is your ticket. A one-way ticket out of odor/flavor boredom land. 👍

Cracked the zip and was greeted by a face full of absolute gas. HOLY FUCK, this shit stinks like a MOFO, no open flames! You could pull a Bond, make a tiny hole, hold a lighter in front of it, squeeze and flame thrower your foe with a face of burning terps! POCKET WARNING: Everyone within 20 feet of you will know you're holding weed.

From all the Ohio commercial weed I've tried, this is #1 for odor period. About 30 seconds after I cracked the bag in my basement my wife was Alexa broadcast bitching from the second floor "what's that smell?". I hadn't even smoked any yet! 🤣

Another 5 minutes later I had the Popo knocking on my door. A not so good neighbor called in the odor to 911 so they had to investigate. The K9 in the car was going ape shit this time! I offered them a joint but they just left. Yup, legal bitches!

LOOK: Dark AF! Hold this next to something like a Meigs Strawberry Guava and it looks black (see pic). These AB strains are all dark and dank, this falls in line but at a much higher level than competitive A&B I've smoked. The last AB I reviewed was Standard. It doesn't hold a candle to the Neighborgoods version:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OhioMarijuana/comments/1o3mjv8/apples_bananas_the_standard/

Some bags of NG flower are "rough cut", those are labeled "Plant matter" and contain a lot of garbage. Not the case here! Sorry no full bag picture, I'll get to why later*.

Several large 1.5-2" nugs, a lot of half to 1" and the rest popcorn, It looked fair for a premium half in size distribution, no complaints, slightly better than average but no Farkas. Hardly any garbage, mostly handling dust in the bottom.

NUGS: Trichomes out the ass! They're about as perfect as you can get in commercial cannabis. Great feel, very slightly dry outside with a wet, squishy interior. They sparkle pretty good under light, NG brings them out to party with this strain. Not quite Farkas Griswold Christmas tree lights, but close! Farkas still owns the Tric Fairy and they only pimp her to NG for short times.

Overall, the nugs were good, quite a few around the 1" area but more smalls than I expected for the price I paid. Wasn't much color varition, it's mostly all dark AF in appearance, see pics. Up close, the nugs are absolutely beautiful! Tons of twisted hairs and globs of resin soaked trics stacked-up like St. Louis butter cake.

CURE/MOISTURE: Damn, CannaMed knows how to cure once again. FLAWLESS! It feels perfect to me and burns REAL nice. Burned a couple J's outta this bag and they were FABULOUS. Stinks up the area a lot! Smoked quite a few bowls, perfect burn every time.

I wish I knew the exact moisture content though. It feels somewhere around 13-15%. Nice slightly crunchy exterior with a wet, gooey, tric-soaked AF interior. It wants to sponge but the resin content is so high it tends to stick more than rebound. Press a nug against the wall, it will be there in the morning. Finger hang test, hahaha, you have to peel it off.

Just like my last batches of NG Grapes & Cream and their Soap, fucking Cannamed/Neighborgoods knows what they're doing. Perfection that's actually inline with the Cincy price point. PROPS!

TASTE:  HELL YES, dead on point dank apples with the slightest tinge of pine/spice. Honestly, I was disappointed the pine didn't hit harder. It does little more than contribute to spicy edge. I love pine but apparently it's one of the most difficult terpenes to get out of cannabis. Nonetheless, it RANKS in flavor. Another brand/strain I could could cram into Gramp's 100 year old tobacco pipe and smoke it constantly for hours on end. It's that fucking good.

* I said I'd explain my lack of a bag pic. Well, I fucking smoked the hell outta this shit because it tasted so good. Never got around to taking pics, I was too busy burning it. 😎 I already liked the A&B strain but this was like A&B on roids. Smoke it if ya got it! All I had left was about a tenth, I managed to save that bit for this review (with great restraint, lol). I like this weed a lot.

FIRST HITS SUMMARY:

HARSH LEVEL = 0.5, smooth AF smoke. That's on my 0-4 scale with 4 being like hemp rope and Farkas typically running a 0.0 to 1.5. It just doesn't get much smoother than this. The great cure and unique terpene profile are dope smokers bliss. Take away much of the limonene/caryo lung punching terps and viola, smoothness fit for a king!

One hit buzz weed, no problem. It's almost 30% THC, one or two will do you if you just want a nice little buzz. Smoke a batch and the couch starts sounding pretty good. I'd last about 10 minutes before I wanted to get that flavor going again - the taste is addicting AF. Like a crisp but dank apple. You keep wanting more. YUM!!

The lab tested 27.1% Total THC but it "feels" stronger than that. More in line with their 30% Grapes & Cream. This lot also packed a high 1.4% d9! I don't know that makes a difference but all the >1% d9 weed I've had has hit well. I also think it's good sign for the growing, maturing and curing process. Neighborgoods ain't playing with this strain!

I bogarted a few joints, none of them smoked past halfway before I was seeing stars and my noggin was knocked. Let it go out and relight after 10 minutes purely for the taste!!! This some of the best tasting commercial weed in Ohio.

BOTTOM LINE:

This is no different from my other NG reviews (including these paragraphs). Apples & Bananas is another absolutely kickass NG product that gives the user a unique odor, flavor and buzz experience. If you've been smoking Ohio limonene mids, you'll REALLY dig this because it's nothing like those. Spicy apple exhale flavor, great buzz and smooth smoking make this a top-notch Ohio product. Add to that the flawless NG cure and smoking pleasure, it's a WINNER.

You knew it was coming (again), bitch time.... 😂

This is NOT $230/oz weed, it just isn't and neither is most of the Klutch, Woodward or other overpriced shit. In that context, it fits right in. Basically the same price and it's really good flower. In fact, IMO, better than most of the strains I've tried from the "top" brands. That's a win I suppose.

However, putting it back into the Pang context at $150/oz OTD price at Terrasanna - it's absolutely the best commercial weed Ohio has to offer from what I've smoked since Rec started. If I had that deal close to me, I'd rarely smoke anything but NG. I'm a cheap, old fucker and I smoke a lot. Money MATTERS and that's $50 below my personal max price of $200/oz. UNBEATABLE for the quality!

Keep on smoking and posting my friends!

Fire Cake - Klutch Cannabis https://www.klutchcannabis.com/strain/fire-cake/

Strain: Wedding Cake x Fire Alien White

COA water - 10.6%

TOTAL THC 26.6% / d9 THC 0.769% / THCA 29.4%

PRIMARY TERPENES: Caryophyllene 0.665%, Limonene 0.641%, Myrcene 0.423%

TOTAL COA TERPENES 3.04%

PINE TERPS: 0.222% (beta-Pinene 0.106%, alpha-Pinene 0.062%, trans-2-Pinanol 0.0535% )

Harvest 18FEB2026

Bought 12JUN2026

Actual Contents Weight: Didn't weigh before smoking.

COA LINK: https://midncustorage01.blob.core.windows.net/4-1694/019e9802-c379-7f14-bb25-df04372ec61c?sv=2026-02-06&se=2026-06-14T03%3A20%3A05Z&sr=b&sp=r&sig=5logy%2FFfdacB8y7Bt6HaCqpFCPwjejWu4K1OxL59InE%3D

DEAL: Time for a recalibration with Klutch. My last batch was Zoap. I've been smoking a lot of Neighborgoods and Farkas lately, needed another switch-up so a check of Zips on Glenway showed this flower. I knew it wouldn't be cheap and it wasn't. However, the Klutch description showed "Overall, the strain offers a smooth yet complex profile that balances dessert-like sweetness with pungent gas and pine." SAY WHAT? PINE!? Hell yeah, I'm in!

During the Zips fake 35% off (which is only 5% off really) this was $104/half. With tax this took it over my $200 max at $223/half OTD. They got me, anything with the word "fire" in the name and a declaration of pine needs to be put to the test!

ODOR: Ripped the bag, I could smell it immediately without breaking the inner seal. Cracked the zip, strong odor, stunk-up the area quickly. This is stinky as shit, the terps are 3% so I expected that. The cops K9 dog will detect it from behind when you get pulled over with your and the cops windows up! They probably pulled you over because the cop smelled from 3 cars behind you. If this shits in your pocket, folks will smell it - not good for stealth use. Keep safe distances if you don't want to get busted.

HUGE props to Klutch! The terps are very strong (and they better be at this price point)!

LOOK: YES! Finally got a Klutch half that delivered. Nice 1-1.5" nugs but most are under an inch. Still, nice presentation! I've gotten a few Klutch "flower" bag that were mostly popcorn - not this time. Almost no garbage in the bag at all too, just what broke off during handling of the package.

The crystallization of the buds is top-notch, real close to Farkas but not quite. I've yet to see anyone fully match Farkas on trics but this weed 90% of way. NICE JOB KLUTCH! This is an attractive bag.

NUGS: About as perfect as you can get in commercial cannabis. Great feel, slightly dry outside crust with a squishy, moist interior. Almost all of the buds were very nice, no MT, bullshit, rock Ohio nugs here. Decent assortment but most were under an inch.

CURE/MOISTURE: The COA shows only 10.6% moisture, that's on the lower side for flower. It really didn't seem dry to me at all. The cure is flawless, perfectly executed cannabis, plenty of moisture, doesn't crumble. The hardest part is getting it off your fingers - it's sticky AF. Press a bud against a wall and it'll be there in the morning. This stuff is very gooey!

TASTE: Twisted one up and smoked with my bro. It's predominately caryo/limonene but with spicy undertones. My pallet first detected some pine on the inhale but it a bit diminished on the exhale. Still - Houston, WE HAVE PINE. That said - Absolutely delicious weed! This is what I'm paying for - the flavor is GREAT! It's very pleasant tasting with ZERO greenhouse/chlorophyll/fertilizer or other off tastes. Exceptionally clean tasting as I would expect at this price point. Just one day in and I love this strain for the flavor! WIN KLUTCH!

FIRST HITS SUMMARY: HARSH LEVEL 1.5, very smooth smoke but not as smooth as some Farkas strains. That's on my 0-4 scale with 4 being like hemp rope and Farkas typically running a 0.0 to 1.5. Still, it's very easy to burn. I smoked a bowl and barely coughed, easy on the lungs bonus points. Same smoking a joint, burned excellent, if maybe a little fast.

One hit buzz weed, no problem. It's almost 30% THC, one or two will do you if you just want a nice little buzz. Keep in mind, if that COA 10% moisture is accurate, that level skews the Total THC and other numbers higher compared to the competition. Farkas is running 12%-15% and hitting 26+% TTHC with those moisture levels. I generally consider over-drying a "cheat" to improve COA levels but this flower does NOT feel dry to me. Not sure I trust the lab results, we'll see how that buzz works the brain over the next few days - will report back.

It's no sledgehammer so far but I haven't smoked much yet. I easily smoked a small bowl (5-6 hits by myself). YUM, it tasted GREAT in a wood bowl. My bro and I smoked a J and we both tapped just past halfway. Again, it tasted good and was a pleasure to smoke in a J.

BOTTOM LINE: EXCELLENT WEED! It has all the attributes one would expect for $245/oz pot. It looks good, it tastes good, smokes smooth and packs a nice buzz. This is a top-notch commercial product no doubt. KUDOS to Klutch!

That said, I gotta bitch about the price. It's expensive AF! Farkas and Neighborgoods are hitting homeruns for under $200/oz. IMO, this Klutch strain doesn't beat those out, especially against Farkas. It's on par and has some pluses and minuses compared to those but I have to consider overall attributes AND value.

Yes, I'm a frugal old fuck, price matters. 😁 For what I paid, I could had grabbed an ounce of Farkas or NG and a jar of some concentrate. I'm certain those would have delivered better bang for the buck. The Fire Cake is also TWICE the price of my favor "filler weed" - Grassroots "shake"! An ozzy of GR goes a long way with me. 😄

Overall, I certainly do not regret the purchase, it's like buying a good bottle of wine (only better). There's no doubt, I'm enjoying the hell out of it, but I can only recommend this strain to folks that want to splurge a little bit. Get your wallet out though, this or other top Klutch products will drain it quickly. You're probably not smoking this every day unless you like burning $$$. The competition has some compelling options for much less cabbage. Personally, this is something I'd only buy a couple of times a year as a treat because I do like it. Again, Props to Klutch and crew - now get that price down for us and we'll buy more.

Check back later, I always update my reviews with fresh impressions as I smoke more! Keep on smoking and posting my friends! 😎

RSO CAPSULES (30mg d9 each) - BENELEAVES

FOR THOSE WITH SHORT ATTENTION SPANS:

* Amazing Value

* High Lasts ALL Day

FOR THE MORE INTELLIGENT:

DEAL: One of my bros started with these about 3 months ago and kept raving about them. He kept bugging me to try them but I prefer smoking and 30 mg sounded like a bit too much. Well, I ended-up breaking my leg so he ran this package over to me because he said they help with pain. GREAT timing - now I'm in! 👍

Ripped it opened and the receipt was still in there, $28 = $33 OTD. For that you get a whopping 660mg of active contained in 22 caps of 30mg each. HELL YEAH, this leg can eat shit! That beats out one of my other favorites Dissolve 660mg Powder - a glorious invention on it's own, I digress. The Dissolve runs about $77/660mg OTD. OK, now I can see value in these caps! HALF the price of 660mg of Dissolve. 😎

OPENING: What a drag, not like opening a fresh bag of flower, smells like Grandma's unflavored Jello powder with maybe a hint of coconut. Held them up to the light to see what we're working with here. It's simply a mix of RSO ("Rick Simpson Oil" for the noobs, google it yourself) diluted down with coconut oil. So 3 ingredients, gelatin capsule, RSO and veg oil. I like that - NO added terps, fillers or other bullshit. Label is nice, we're looking at all d9 THC, no THCA, it's already decarbed and ready to RIP and feed those intestines!

BUZZ/PAIN EFFECTIVENESS: I have 3 letters O M G. These caps are winners on ALL fronts. The buzz starts at about 20 minutes and that's just starting to tickle your innerds. After an hour, good buzz, head and body (very notable) and still progressing upward. 2-3 hours peak buzz - you will be high AF and you still have another 2+ hours left. This is a long, sustained buzz as the oil passes through your stomach and is absorbed by the intestines. The buzz keeps rolling up over the course of 2+ hours and easily lasting 6-8 hours. They'll probably help ya shit too. 😂 (Supplementing with some flower hits over the RSO trip boosts very nicely)

After an hour I could barely feel my broken leg! WOW, these 100% work because I'm not taking anything else except IBU and I didn't change that routine. However, since I got these caps, they are all I take (plus smoking weed). Best pain management medicine EVER! I've been popping 2 a day, afternoon and evening. FANTASTIC, LOW PAIN! Thanks Beneleaves! Fuck opioids!

WARNING: 30mg a pop is NOT for noobs. These are not for the inexperienced, for them, it's always best to start low and build over time. These are like dropping an anvil on your head.

JerryBob - Farkas Farms (small Ohio Tier II grower)

Strain: Dual OG x Blue Dream (stain dev posted below)

COA water - 13.6%

TOTAL THC 26.4%

PRIMARY TERPENES: Limonene 0.67%, Myrcene 0.52%, B-Pinene 0.22%.

TOTAL COA TERPENES 2.28%

Harvest 02MAR2026

Bought 28MAY2026

Actual Contents Weight: 14.72g

COA LINK: https://share.confidentlims.com/samples/public/share/97a71e53-cc2c-4066-86d2-9c257d16daf5

DEAL: I have had a couple of folks ask me to review JB, your wish is granted! I've been really enjoying Neighborgoods lately but it's time to get back to the best in Ohio. I hoping to try the Buff Cherry but it wasn't in stock in a half, it's gotten some great reviews.

Grabbed this half on the fake Zips 30% off sale for $91 = $107/OTD. This is slightly above my Ohio $200/oz max but this is the first time I've seen Farkas produce this strain. Perhaps it's their first run? I dunno but I was happy to even get some! I think there's a reddit post/review of a tenth and, at that time when I looked around Cincy, it was like $40+ OTD. NO THANKS! No Ohio commercial weed is really worth more than $200/oz and I'll die on that hill.

ODOR: Ripped the bag, I could smell it immediately without breaking the inner seal. Cracked the zip, strong odor, stunk-up the area quickly; however, it doesn't seem quite as odoriferous as some other Farkas strains. The narco dog will detect you but it'll have to get a bit closer. If this shits in your pocket, folks will smell it - not good for stealth use. Keep safe distances if you don't want to get busted.

The COA total terps is average for cannabis. However, JerryBob definitely stinks! Terpenes aren't the only contributors to cannabis odor. I suspect this is high in some other types of sulfur compounds, the odor is mostly Limonene but there's an underlaying tone of "other" things. Quite pleasant, not overwhelming, and it's nice balance so it does NOT smell like the typical Ohio $140/oz limonene schwag. Great job Farkas!

LOOK: HOLY HELL! This is the nicest half I've ever gotten in Ohio! JUST FUCKING WOW! Giant 1.5"-2" buds and no filler garbage. The bottom crumbs were solely from handling and less than 0.1g. Did someone run half a salt shaker over this weed? Under good light it sparkles like morning snow. Out of the Farkas strains, this could be the winner. WOW!

The crystallization of the buds is fucking outrageous! I swear, the Tric Fairy lives in Columbus Ohio. NO OHIO GROWER can beat Farkas at the trics game, period. This bag is seriously like buying a half of trichomes with a little plant matter to hold them together. My God Farkas - I'm a fucking broken record with your products and the trics! Bag after bag I shit my pants thinking "this one has the most trics", NOPE, along comes another loaded-up Farkas strain. UNREAL MY FRIENDS, UNREAL.

NUGS: About as perfect as you can get in commercial cannabis. Big nugs filled with billons of gooey ass trics, twisted hairs and spider webs of delight! One of the smaller buds I cracked in half looked like a Monarch worm left their cocoon inside! CRAZY!

Great feel, slightly dry outside with a squishy, moist interior. Almost all of the buds were 1"-2", no bullshit here.

CURE/MOISTURE:  The COA shows 13.6% moisture, a very nice level for cannabis and around the average for Farkas. The interior bud matter feels very moist, pinch it and it pretty much stays with little rebound. There just too much goo for it to spring back much.

The cure is flawless, perfectly executed cannabis, lots of moisture, doesn't crumble. The hardest part is getting it off your fingers - it's sticky AF. Press a bud against a wall and it'll be there in the morning. Burns super nice but does tend to gum up my pipes with the resin, this is some thick ass bud.

TASTE: Oh hell yes, it's predominately limonene but with many undertones. Honestly, not too special but still unique. I was praying for the Pinene to come up front but sadly it does not except the tiniest background whiff. I was hoping for more but it's just fine because it's very pleasant tasting with ZERO greenhouse/chlorophyll/fertilizer or other off tastes. Exceptionally clean tasting!

FIRST HITS SUMMARY:

HARSH LEVEL 0.5, smooth AF smoke, like smoking air. That's on my 0-4 scale with 4 being like hemp rope and Farkas typically running a 0.0 to 1.5. Right inline with the best commercial weed and even surpassing most Galanas, Klutch and Woodwood I've smoked. I could fucking chain smoke bowls or joints of this weed all night long without destroying my respiratory system.

One hit buzz weed, no problem. It's almost 30% THC, one or two will do you if you just want a nice little buzz. I'll have to update this later because I just opened the bag and barely smoked half a g. Last night I finished off a small bowl (5-6 hits) and I was blasted, right in line with other Farkas bud. It does not disappoint!

EDIT: Got opportunity to rip 5-6 hits consecutive hits. Sledgehammer to the cranium, this shit hits! Head's up: You will NOT finish a joint unless you have like 6 people and forget the hemos, you won't need them. 😂

BOTTOM LINE:

Another homerun for Farkas! This is an amazing strain executed to perfection by the top grower in Ohio. My only complaints:

* "will we see it again". Pretty sure this strain is 2026 new but perhaps experimental?

* It's expensive! Other Farkas strains run $70-$80/half.

Was it worth a few more bucks at $91/half over other Farkas products, maybe - I'll decide that later but JerryBob is obviously considered an upper crust product by Farkas. My first impressions, YES, it certainly is. But I'm going to have to smoke more to decide if that price is justified because they have some other really kickass products that are cheaper.

Check back later, I always update my reviews with fresh impressions as I smoke more! Keep on smoking and posting my friends!

GASTRO POP #4 - Neighborgoods (CannaMed)

Apples & Bananas and Grape Gasoline #1

COA water - Unknown, no COA QR code given! (BS!)

TOTAL THC 29.4%

TERPENES: Limonene 0.386%, Caryo 0.221%, Myrcene 0.182% (0.789% disclosed)

Total COA Terps: Unknown, no COA!

Harvest 02MAR2026

Bought 28APR2026

COA LINK: None, no QR code! Come on CannaMed, consumers want to know! ZONK!

DEAL: Pang recommended his top NG products to me, this was his #1 favorite. My stash was low and I didn't have time to drive to Middletown for the PROPER Neighborgoods deal, so I sucked it up and went to Beyond Hello with their outrageous pricing - but at least they had a huge selection. They had this "on sale" for 30% off, $140 retail - $42 = $98 + tax (~$115/half OTD). OUCH! It broke my $200/oz max threshold by $30! 😟

At Terrasanna NG flower is $125/oz + tax! The problem with them, their inventory SUCKS ASS. I've been watching for weeks and they haven't had shit, like 2 or 3 strains. Pang is the master of the Terra grabs because he lives next door but, for me, it's proven to be much more difficult to get the REAL price on Neighborgoods - I'm 45 min away. Homie doesn't like playing the Cincinnati NG price game - suck it overpriced dispos!

ODOR: Ripped the bag, I could smell it immediately without breaking the inner seal. Nice and stinky! Cracked the zip and was greeted by a distinct and unique odor. It's dark limonene, like the limonene is there but the combo of the other terps are fighting for first place. It must be the combo of fruit and gasoline. The breakfast of champions! I shall put that to the test.

I kinda get the cola name, it's not exactly but a mix of Coca-Cola with mt. dew odor sits in the background.....quite strange. ZERO chlorophyll (greenhouse) odors. Just like their Grapes and Cream strain, there's a complex mixture coming through with limonene but it's fighting with the underlying terps and other VOC compounds. Weeds not all about terps, many other compounds affect the odor, and this is a case where I think that's true. Some kind of CannaMed voodoo they got going with this strain. PROPS!

I added up all the bag terps 0.8% (no COA available add ALL of them) - the numbers LIE. This shit is fucking stinky, not Farkas level stink, but pretty damn close. Neighbor goods knows how to capture terps and VOCs in their cannabis! PROPS!

LOOK: What a relief when I dumped out this half! My last 2 bags of NG were "rough cut" and barely worth the price (saved by quality). Not this case here! Bag contents shown in lead picture (-1g I smoked). MUCH bigger nugs this time, almost as good as Farkas. I took a picture of the bottom garbage, it was as it should be, minimal, a gram or less. This is in-line with the other Ohio top flower bags. I'm good with it, it's real, full flower.

Rough-cut? The last NG bag I bought was labeled "flower" but the fine print said "Plant material". HEADS-UP when buying Neighborgoods, look at the label because BOTH packages say "Flower" on the front. If the reverse label says:

"Plant Mat." = Rough cut with leaves, stems & shake (>= 2 g of garbage)

"Flower" = Real, full flower product (<1 g of garbage)

That said, I have to complain about the overall look in relation to the purchased price of $230. NOPE, fails to deliver. At $230/oz I want HUGE buds or 1-3 straight colas. Ohio has a TON of kickass flower products that are <$200/oz, this is inline with those products. ANY FLOWER that cost more than $200/oz better deliver in the looks department without of they fail my test.

REAL PRICE FOR LOOKS - I must again use Pangs experience and consider the REAL PRICE and not the Cincy price of $150/oz to find a positive. At the price, it's a HOMERUN. There NG, I threw you a bone.

NUGS: Trichomes! They're about as perfect as you can get in commercial cannabis. Great feel, slightly dry outside with a squishy interior. They sparkle pretty good under light, NG brings them out to party with this strain. Not as showboaty and glitzy as most Farkas Griswold Christmas tree products, but close! Impressive, they've gotten closer to Farkas than any other bud I've seen. Helluv a compliment because Farkas owns the Tric Fairy - who seems to always visit their grows the day before harvest for a deep application of her magic dust.

Overall, the nugs were good, quite a few around the 1" area but more smalls than I expected for the price I paid. There was a little color varition with some nugs taking on a attractive strawberry appearance, see pics. Those nugs are absolutely beautiful! The more green ones are thick with twisted hairs and globs of resin soaked trics stacked-up like St. Louis butter cake.

CURE/MOISTURE: Damn, CannaMed knows how to cure once again. FLAWLESS! It feels perfect to me and burns REAL nice if maybe slightly fast. I need to twist one to see how that goes. Pipes burn fairly quick though but not like smoking dust.

I wish I knew the exact moisture content though. It feels somewhere around 10-12%. Nice slightly crunchy exterior with a nice moist and gooey interior. It wants to sponge but the resin content is so high it tends to stick more than rebound. Press a nug against the wall, it will be there in the morning. Finger hang test, hahaha, you have to peel it off.

Just like my last batches of NG Grapes & Cream and their Soap, fucking Cannamed/Neighborgoods knows what they're doing. Perfection that's actually inline with the Cincy price point. PROPS!

TASTE: WOW, I've had nothing like it before, love that! It's pretty much inline with the odor but it has some twists. The inhale felt very smooth, a tribute to the cure, and was a dark limonene with caryo/myrcene more dominant. The exhale is crazy, you barely get the limonene, it's more caryo and the dark (likely sulfurous) VOCs that give it something unique. It ends with what I'd call a 50:50 mix of Coke and Mt. Dew but it's NOT overwhelming, it's pretty subtle and takes a few seconds to come through fully. Unique, PROPS!

Warning - some may not care for that (Pangs Dad) and, at first I didn't. However, after 4-5 hits I was digging it and understanding it's complex nature. It's probably quite amazing in a joint, I hope to test that. I've been smoking this for a few days now and I'm enjoying the flavor even though it's not my favorite. I prefer NG's G&C for flavor - that shit is the pepper bomb of joy!

https://www.reddit.com/r/OhioMJCommunity/comments/1sbokh6/grapes_cream_neighborgoods/

FIRST HITS SUMMARY:

HARSH LEVEL 0.5-1.5, smooth AF smoke. That's on my 0-4 scale with 4 being like hemp rope and Farkas typically running a 0.0 to 1.5. Right inline with the best commercial weed and even surpassing most Galanas, Klutch and Woodwood I've smoked. I could fucking chain smoke bowls or joints of this weed all night long without destroying my respiratory system.

One hit buzz weed, no problem. It's almost 30% THC, one or two will do you if you just want a nice little buzz. After 8-10 hits it seems to plateau for me, smoking more doesn't take me to the next level but I'm usually plenty high enough and it lasts pretty well. I have to smoke something different or add some wax to get the fully rounded buzz package - it entourages very well!

Compared to their 30% G&C, it honestly feels closer a 26-28% THC flower. Gastro Pop #4 is not as potent of a head buzz for me. It's good, don't get me wrong, but there are stronger weeds. This one tends to put me on the couch with a body buzz where G&C is energy weed - I prefer the latter generally but GP #4 is good for relaxation and chillin and more potent than 90% of Ohio flower.

BOTTOM LINE:

This is not much different from my other NG reviews. It's another absolutely kickass NG product that gives the user a unique flavor and buzz experience. If you've been smoking Ohio limonene mids, you'll REALLY dig this because it's nothing like those. Unique exhale flavor, great buzz and smooth smoking make this a top-notch Ohio product. Add to that the flawless NG cure and smoking pleasure, it's a WINNER.

You knew it was coming, bitch time.... 😂

This is NOT $230/oz weed, it just isn't and neither is most of the Klutch, Woodward or other overpriced shit. In that context, it fits right in. Basically the same price and it's really good flower. In fact, IMO, better than most of the strains I've tried from the expensive brands. That's a win I suppose.

However, putting it back into the Pang context at $150/oz OTD price at Terrasanna - it's absolutely the best commercial weed Ohio has to offer from what I've smoked since Rec started. If I had that deal close to me, I'd rarely smoke anything but NG. I'm a cheap, old fucker and I smoke a lot. Money MATTERS and that's $50 below my personal max price of $200/oz. UNBEATABLE for the quality!

Check back later, I always update my reviews with fresh impressions as I smoke more! Keep on smoking and posting my friends!