u/HopeKaixoia

It is in these moments we awaken from the fantasy of who we believed you could become. sweet, miserable dreams of fantasized potential and desperate hope.

We wake whispering your name into the darkness, searching for a presence that never exists. And it takes everything within us not to reach for you again, to not beg once more for love.

If not for the wounds of our childhood,
this cruelty would almost seem unreal.
But pain recognizes pain,
and so here, in the silence,
we whisper these unbearable truths
of love, longing, grief, and despair.

Te amo, mi amor.
Even now, the words bleed from us like a final prayer swallowed by the Void.

inside, It hurts the fact that you are not here the fact that you abandoned us. All we ever wanted was for you to love us the way we loved you. guess to a borderline that was probably asking the world. As we plan to move from this place where so many of our memories are held we feel grief, anger, malice, frustration, abandonment... it cripples the ability to do anything sitting for hours barely moving. we want to scream but lack the ability to. the internal pain, triggers, dark memories, hallucinations, whispering and tormenting. what self-worth we did have is gone and now without therapy, we are lost. The Others they say we will get over it that we have survived far worse, true this may be we just wish for it to end. tho that dream will never come. even after all this time living surviving whatever you wanna call it we are still that helpless, stupid worthless child wanting love and safety consistency and unconditionality. We hate that.