Gf (30f) struggling with portion control and feelings of guilt
My (32m) gf (30) is struggling with when to stop eating and feelings of guilt.
Will try to be brief but give as much info as possible, she previously had disordered eating before we met/early in our relationship, this was essentially counting her calories very closely to maintain her weight. She stopped that behaviour a year or so into our relationship, and I’d like to think her relationship with food has improved and become more relaxed.
Currently, she is medically overweight, she feels overweight describes herself as fat, and is frustrated by this. I am trying to reconcile two things, she says often that she wants to become healthier and lose weight, but I’m also aware she has had a bad relationship with food in the past. I want to be clear I am not putting pressure on her to lose weight, I am trying to help her with a goal she has explicitly stated.
Our solution at the moment is some exercise together, mostly exercise Bike and body weight exercises, and trying to eat healthier, less grease less Red meats mainly.
I have tried to stay away from counting calories, either daily total or a total for the meal, since I feel that will trigger her. At the moment how it usually goes as I serve us an equal portion of food, we eat that. She is often very concerned with the portions being equal, and if one of us has a little more on our plate, she will transfer to another plate to make sure they are exactly equal. Also, if there are any leftovers in the pot, she will go for them, if there is any more food, e.g. salad left over in a bowl, bowl of olives, sauce, she will eat it. If it’s in front of her, she will eat it, and will often say “take this away from me“. Later in the evening, she will express guilt, saying that she ate too much; this is usually not accompanied by the physical feeling of being too full, more mental guilt.
I’m not sure exactly what is happening here, and how to deal with it. What I want to say, is ‘stop eating when you’re full, or stop eating when I eat stop eating’. As a male and as someone who does more regular exercise than her (cycling and running), I have a higher calorific intake. I’m aware the problem isn’t as simple as “stop eating when you’re full“, she often says she doesn’t feel full, and knows she should stop eating, but doesn’t have a physical sensation of being full.
I suppose my question is two parts
what exactly is bringing this on, is there a specific name for her disordered eating that I can use to do more research?
are there any exercises that I could do or we could do together to help her deal with this situation?
Thank you.